“You need to choose to fight this monster or he’ll get the better of you. You can live a happy life, you can break free of this. The first step is to want to get better.”

Aviva

“What’s your favorite part of your job?”

Standard second-date fare. But my mind races and my hands are clammy. What should I say? What can I offer that won’t add another lie to the growing pile?

“Um, uh, I love being able to help people.” Ugh, that sounds so lame. What am I, some starry-eyed 19-year-old? Those days are long gone. I try for some damage control.

“In the hospital, there are so many concrete ways you can make a difference. You’re seeing people at their most vulnerable. Spending the extra few minutes explaining a procedure—” help, I don’t think a nurse does that. Too late now, just plow ahead— “or, uh, bringing them the extra pillow,” yes, that’s the perfect nurse example, “all of it can make such a difference. I appreciate being able to impact people’s lives like that.”

Yosef nods his head slowly. That’s one of the things I like about him: He’s a great listener. He’s not thinking about what he’s going to say next; he’s fully absorbing what you have to say.

“It sounds like you’re a very dedicated nurse.”

My cheeks get hot. Quick, I have to move the conversation from this topic. I’ll just flip the question.

“So why did you become a social worker? Was it something you always wanted to do?”

He laughs, a rich, warm sound.

“Not quite. I mean, how many seven-year-old boys dream of being a social worker? Back then I was going to be a fireman — or maybe I was up to an astronaut at that point.”

He’s silent for a moment.

“I guess I wanted to do the same thing you do — relieve pain. But I’m trying to get to the pain you can’t see.”

“Do you ever feel like it’s too much? All the pain, I mean.” I’m asking about his job, but I’m thinking of my own.

He thinks for a full minute before replying. Another thing I like about Yosef, the way he thinks before he speaks, how he doesn’t feel compelled to fill empty spaces with chatter, and how he selects his words rather than dumping them.

“There are hard days,” he finally admits. “But facing pain head-on has a beauty of its own. I think half the world’s ills come from people trying to escape pain. When they’re willing to look it in the eye and tackle it — it’s a tough journey, but a rewarding one. There’s nothing like facing life with honesty.”