Reb Gedalia Miller became a game changer in the way frum parents relate to their children, no matter how far they’ve gone

Photos: shlomysphotos

Gedalia Miller has been in the insurance and financial services industry for nearly three decades, and with all due respect to his affiliated companies, MassMutual and Guardian Life, today he’s involved with another kind of life insurance policy: He’s helping turn the darkness and isolation faced by so many in this generation into light, by changing the way parents look at their struggling, at-risk children.

While Reb Gedalia, a Bobover chassid from Boro Park, is an award-winning salesman and recruiter, social engineer was never on his CV. But then he faced the challenge of his life when his own child began to struggle with religious observance — a challenge he calls the “nisayon of the dor.” Shocked and confused, he and his wife sought guidance, pushed through their pain, and realized they could bring light and hope into that dark, frightening, lonely, and baffling place where so many in our wider community are now finding themselves.

As he navigated his own journey, Reb Gedalia became an address for advice, guidance, connections, and support. Eventually he created Kesher Nafshi, a support organization for parents of at-risk children that brings them together several times a year for extended-weekend shabbatons that give families the tools not only to survive, but to heal and thrive during these incredibly challenging trials. And none too soon: After just four events, participation has swelled to over 2,000 parents — primarily from the chassidic and yeshivish kehillos — and that’s without advertising.

There’s a veritable underground network of these parents, and many are ashamed to reach out and ask for support or build connections with other parents going through similar ordeals. But that support can be a crucial game changer for a parent lost in an unfamiliar new world.

“So many kids today are coming back because the parents are changing the way they’re looking at their children, embracing them with love and understanding and realizing that this isn’t chas v’shalom some kind of punishment from Hashem, but the nisayon of the generation,” Miller explains. “The nisayon is the nisayon, but how we deal with it is in our hands. Our aim is to keep these kids at home and in a loving relationship, helping them to heal, and empowering them to make the right choices.”

Reb Gedalia stresses that he’s not a trained therapist. He’s a facilitator and resource person, directing parents to experts in the areas of addiction, rehab, and other professional services. Even so, he’s a sought-after baal eitzah in his own right, and a natural when it comes to human connection. He’s had training from the top guns in the business world of recruitment, marketing, coaching, motivating, negotiating, and sales, and has weathered the waves of volatile financial markets over the past 25 years.

Then, in 2015, when his own daughter made a lifestyle switch, he harnessed all those skills to keep his own family intact.