Usher Parnes is the moderator of Let’s Get Real with Coach Menachem, an online shiur with Menachem Bernfeld based in Lakewood, New Jersey

What I do

I moderate a weekly Zoom shiur that covers all topics related to Yidden and self-help.

What that means

Every Sunday night at 10, we host a prominent speaker, rabbi, influencer, or therapist. The guests discuss “their” topic — whatever that is, it’s something people appreciate, something they want to understand or gain perspective. Topics range from different areas in Yiddishkeit to life in general — things like “Elevating Our Marriages to a Higher Level” with Rabbi Sholom Kamenetsky;  “How to Set Boundaries in a World with No Boundaries” with Rabbi Yosef Elefant, a maggid shiur in the Mir in Israel;  “We’re Doing It All But We’re Missing the Point” with Rabbi Benzion Twerski; and anxiety, depression, personality disorders, and more.

How we got the idea

Menachem is my neighbor and best friend. At the onset of Covid, when we were all quarantining, I was talking with the men in our Presidential Estates neighborhood about how much we missed the social interaction we used to get in shul. We were Zooming daf yomi at night, 20 to 25 of us, and then we asked Menachem, who’s a life coach, to give a short presentation on Zoom about things we could do or think about in these uncertain times — we all really enjoyed it. One night, we decided to invite our friend Mordechai Weinberger, a social worker, to join us. We asked The Lakewood Scoop to spread the word; that night, 400 people logged on to watch. That’s when we realized the world needs this.

How We Got Started

Next, we asked social worker Rabbi Shlomie Schwartzberg to join us — this was at the end of April last year — and he spoke about “Going Back to Normal When Things Are Not Normal.” He was followed by social worker Rabbi Yaakov Salomon, who spoke about “Deeper Meaning in These Unprecedented Times,” a powerful shiur that included his reflections on his personal near-death Covid experience.

Then and now

When this first started, the average size shiur was 200 people watching at one time — 400 to 500 logged on at some points throughout any given night — but it was consistently 200 sitting and listening. I was doing it in my sweatshirt, I wasn’t as prepared with speakers and questions, and was texting and unmuting all by myself. It was very hard! Now, we usually hit between 450 and 650 watching live. Zoom maxes out at 1,000, and there have been weeks where the overflow has to listen to the recording later. In one night, we usually have 1,200 to 2,000 logins at some point. Oh, and I’m not in my sweatshirt anymore, and I have a lot of help behind the scenes.