How can I ensure I am doing my part in the community?

Flip through any Mishpacha and stand proud at what’s promoted in advertisements. No, really. Holy causes show way more prominently than exotic getaways. A very partial list includes chesed events, women’s health, Yom Tov assistance, aiding refugees, shemiras einayim, shidduch initiatives, special ed options, and the crown jewel of Jewish living — yeshivos. Behind each enterprise are the remarkable human beings who devote their life and soul to whatever sacred endeavor it is, and there sure are a lot of them.

Responsibility to Klal Yisrael is serious business, but we sometimes struggle to properly apply that value. Below is a sampling of reader response to our discussion on stepping up.

Am I Selfish?

I don’t work, but I love to be busy, so I do a lot of volunteering. I run the local kallah gemach, coordinate PTA, and I’m on call for crises that arise in town. These outlets offer me a social life while playing to my skill set; the manager in me is soaring. I am filling a communal need, but I’m filling my own needs, too. I’m embarrassed to say that I love being the hero of the hour. Is that okay?

While you could work on the self-serving elements (mitzvos lo lishma) of doing good, know that these are inevitable in the climb to absolute altruism (mitzvos lishma). Waiting for completely healthy and pure intentions before taking something on, usually means we’d miss a lot of opportunities to help out. The general rule is that if what you’re doing is actually good, you’re fine.

The fact that this plays to your skills is great. Using our talents is rewarding. That shouldn’t concern us; it should guide us toward our most effective and joyous areas of contribution.

It’s disturbing when benevolence goes awry and is not kindness at all, but harming (allowing a tantruming four-year-old free access to the nosh cabinet, or neglecting more primary responsibilities); misjudgment (burning yourself out); or inappropriately caving in (giving in out of weakness instead of implementing necessary solutions).

There’s an effective way to differentiate. Consider if what you’re doing qualifies as a mitzvah. If you get sechar (Heavenly merit) for this, you’re presumably not too far off. Despite the biases, flaws, and feel-good elements, if it’s good enough for G-d, it’s got to be good. The examples of misplaced kindness cited above are all just plain wrong.

Long story short: it isn’t likely that the gratification you get from your community work is something to worry about. Impure incentives join up with our altruistic ones to keep us moving while we keep trying for better. Giving is wonderful and never perfect.