There was a method within the madness, and I was feeling complacent that all was under control

June 2024

“SO,are you just the tzadeikes type?” the woman asked me.

I had to laugh. I’m generally more comfortable with the funny/witty description. I was standing in the hotel lobby at Chaim V’Chessed’s third retreat for moms of children with special needs. I love these retreats. They’ve connected me to so many people who share and understand the challenges of being such a mom. But did this woman share my perspective?

“What makes me a tzadeikes?” I asked her.

“Well it’s just the way you spoke about your sons and their difficulties. You made it sound so easy to just laugh and go on. I don’t feel that way.”

“In that case, you’re a tzadeikes, too, because you’re here as a mother of a special needs child. However you handle it — and believe me, I have my ups and downs, too — but being a mother of any special needs child makes you an amazing person.”

I’d just given a speech to those attending the retreat and I was excited about my message. I finally felt ready to share my journey with others in person. I’d come a long way in the last few years. My Chezky has been stable for over five years and was holding down a job and a chavrusa. Ari was taking driving lessons and had landed a job as well, saving his money to buy a car.

Things had calmed down to a “dull roar,” as we called it. My life could never be called calm, but there was a method within the madness, and I was feeling complacent that all was under control.