Who: Moe Mernick (It’s me, the author of this column.) I run operations at Triple Whale (a high-growth tech start-up), give a daily daf yomi shiur, and produce a short, inspiring video on each daf.

What: About eight months ago, I began working at Triple Whale, a high-growth technology start-up that provides an operating system that empowers e-commerce brands to grow their businesses. Launched just over a year ago, the company already onboarded more than 4,000 customers, raised over $27 million, and provides analytics on $9.5 billion in gross merchandise value. Prior to joining Triple Whale, I worked at various technology companies, ran my own start-up, and spent a number of years working for various kiruv organizations. I also hold an international MBA from Tel Aviv University and semichah from Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg.

Where: I was born and raised in Toronto, but haven’t spent much time there since I was 15. I learned in yeshivos in Eretz Yisrael and America, then spent time in Europe, Australia, and various cities in North America working for various organizations. About ten years ago, my wife, kids, and I were blessed with the opportunity to move to Eretz Yisrael, and we’ve spent most of that time living in Ramat Beit Shemesh.

Why: Over the last four years, it has been an honor and privilege to take this 5 to 9 journey together. Through the prism of other people’s inspiring stories and insights, we’ve been able to push the boundaries of growth in our personal, spiritual, and business lives. Thank you for taking the time to read, to question, and to comment. It’s been the greatest privilege to grow together with you.

The most common question I’ve been asked throughout this period of time is: How would you answer these 5 to 9 questions? So, as we wrap up this column (for now), the team at Mishpacha felt that the best possible candidate for a final interview would be me.

1 of 9 What opportunities or personalities played a key role in your career path?

Yesterday, at shul, a new guy walked in, looked around, and broke out into a smile as he noticed me. He came over to me and exclaimed, “I babysat you when you were a kid!”

Well, that certainly piqued my curiosity, and I went over to him after davening was over. He told me that he used to come over to my house on Shabbos all the time. I wasn’t surprised; my parents hosted countless people when I was younger.

“Tell me a story,” I asked. My father passed away about six months ago, so I’ve been trying to collect stories about his lifetime.

“I’ve got something for you,” he enthusiastically responded. “I’ll tell you the speech that your dad said over at your bris.” Now he definitely had me hooked.

“Your dad shared his dream of becoming a doctor. But as a Kohein, he was unable to go to medical school (because of the work done on cadavers). So he went to Rav Moshe Feinstein for advice.

“ ‘Why do you want to become a doctor?’ Reb Moshe asked him.

“So your dad responded, ‘I want to save people’s lives.’

“Reb Moshe then gave your father life-changing advice: ‘If you want to save people’s lives, you should save people’s souls — you should go into kiruv!’ ”

At the bris, my parents named me Moshe (Moe is short for Moshe), after the gadol hador who had recently passed away.

This story about my father reflects my lifelong dream: I want to help others lead happier, more meaningful lives. I want to make a positive impact on the world. And one of my big role models, though perhaps subconsciously, was my father.

He was one of the foremost activists spearheading a kiruv movement in the ’70s and ’80s, before that term became popular. He’d fly around the world, meeting with dignitaries, leading rabbis, and community leaders, ensuring secular Jewish students had opportunities to learn in yeshivos and seminaries. He’d travel to far-flung communities to connect with local Jewish students and encourage them to learn for a couple months in Israel — and often pay out-of-pocket for their flights and tuition.

He’d also attend all kinds of Jewish programming, frum and non-frum alike, to ensure that he’d be able to expose the Jewish students to authentic Torah (and delicious cholent!).  At one particular shabbaton, in a small town in Canada, he composed the hit song “Shivti,” which went on to become one of the most popular Jewish tunes of all times. Many people still refer to him as “Shivti Mernick”!

Countless people, including some of the most prolific rabbis and educators of our generation, have told me that they’re frum today because of the impact my father had on their lives when they were younger.

But while kiruv was my father’s passion, he was an active businessman determined to be financially independent, and often used his own money to support his kiruv projects.

My father’s example inspired me, and already as a child, I knew what I wanted to do long term: invest my life into helping other Jews see the beauty, depth, and relevance of Torah, while independently supporting myself through business endeavors.

But it took me time to figure out how to juggle both worlds. After a couple of years in yeshivah, I took some time to fully invest myself in kiruv in various locations spanning Europe, Australia, and various cities across North America. I taught Torah to secular students, created informal educational programming, and worked toward building a more sustainable educational infrastructure. My wife also had teaching experience and a tremendous amount of passion for kiruv, so we spent much of our shanah rishonah in Vancouver, Canada: I was the NCSY director and youth rabbi, and she taught at a few local schools.

Being fully involved in kiruv was rewarding, but I knew I wanted to transition my “career” into business. I enrolled in Tel Aviv University to study for my MBA while my wife was the eim bayit at a kiruv-focused gap year program at Bar-Ilan University, giving us the opportunity to continue to teach, both formally and informally. And this vision has helped shape my career trajectory over the last decade.

These days, in addition to my (very!) full-time job at a tech start-up, I’m also quite involved in the broader Jewish community. I teach an early-morning daf yomi shiur at KSY in Ramat Beit Shemesh, create a daily short, inspirational video (shared via WhatsApp, TorahAnytime, and AllDaf), mentor Jewish nonprofits, and sporadically teach for various kiruv organizations.

It’s super busy. Quite exhausting, actually. But it’s also beyond meaningful and exhilarating to be living my dream of making a positive impact on the Jewish world, the mission I inherited from my father.

3 of 9 What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

I wasn’t going to answer this question. But recently, as I’ve seen so many people I know suffer in a variety of ways through Covid and lockdowns, I’d like to share something so simple, yet so profound. Ready for this?

We must take care of ourselves.

That’s all. Simple, right? Wrong. So many of us don’t. Whether it’s working 80-hour weeks, being too busy to exercise, or simply not eating healthfully, many of us are running ourselves down. And that’s simply not what Hashem wants from us.

I’ve begun to prioritize eating healthier, sleeping better, and exercising regularly. These habits make a world of a difference. In addition, it’s critical to carve out quality time for the important people in our lives, get regular guidance from a rabbi, mentor, and/or therapist, and ensure we’re constantly growing spiritually.

This sounds idyllic, but there aren’t enough hours in the day, right? And can we possibly prioritize these seemingly excess pleasures when we have so much existing pressure on our time (between family, learning, davening, community, and work)?

I can relate. But it’s so important. Give it a shot. Write down your priorities, create a calendar, and shave off activities that don’t feed into leading your best life. And pray.

4 of 9  What would you say was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

We glorify success, and we often fall into the trap of only speaking about failure after-the-fact. We may also subconsciously glorify those with pompous professional titles, regardless of what they’re actually doing at work, whether they’re balancing other areas of their lives, and regardless of their level of happiness.

That’s not helpful. We need honest, open, and vulnerable role models, not just those who seem untouchable.

This is one of the reasons I started this column — and why I included this question. Selfishly, I wanted to learn from people who seemed to be juggling both worlds. While some were more financially successful than others, they were all, in their own unique way, trying to succeed in both their business and Torah-oriented endeavors.

And this question was always fascinating to unpack. I encouraged interviewees to open up and be vulnerable, because that’s where the readers often connected most to the content.

On a personal note, I’d like to share with you a big business failure and how it shaped my subsequent steps in business.

Four years ago, I was running a huge business initiative for my company that was generating millions of dollars in revenue. I analyzed the market and decided that if I spun out that initiative into an independent start-up, I could create a stand-alone opportunity that could do even better. After months of research and conversations with my network, my CEO (along with other investors) decided to fund my new start-up idea.

All of a sudden, I became a “founder and CEO” of a start-up, a coveted LinkedIn title and bio headline. From the outside, it seemed glorious, but from the inside, it was less so. I was the only staff member in the company, which meant I was responsible for everything. From overseeing outsourced software development and design, to onboarding new customers and partners, to overseeing the minutiae of legal and accounting…it was beyond stressful.

Nearly a year into the endeavor, even though the company was gaining traction and growing, the markets were changing, and my ultimate vision for success was looking less likely. I was at a crossroads. Should I raise more capital (from an interested investor) or shift back into something that felt more right?

Shutting down the business would mean that I’d lose 100% of the capital that was already invested. It would mean declaring total failure. And at that point, I was already mentoring other start-ups and speaking in public at business conferences. How would it come across if I failed like that? Inasmuch as we seem to praise failure as a part of one’s journey, actually, failing is rough… especially with a growing family to support and the discomfort of facing investors empty-handed.

But deep down, I knew what was right. (And I strongly believe that we all usually know what is right, if we can peel away layers and be in touch with our inner selves.) Even if I raised more money, I wasn’t as confident (as when I started) in the business’s ability to ultimately succeed, especially with the outsized returns that venture capitalists expect. So even though it may have been more comfortable to stay in that role and continue getting a paycheck, the right thing to do was to shut down the company.

And so I did.

I have no happily-ever-after epilogue. The experience is still raw. There’s no glamorous end (at least not yet). Instead, I’d like to take this opportunity to encourage you to think deeply about what you really want to do… and not what you think others want you to do, what would look good on social media, or what wouldn’t work for your family and other important areas of your life.

People often ask me for advice on starting a business. And I usually discourage it. Launching a business can be the right opportunity for certain people, at certain times. However, for many other people, it’s not. And that’s more than okay. There’s room to gain professional experience, be entrepreneurial, and make some money — without being the “founder and CEO” of a company.

Shutting down my business was one of the most painful decisions I’d made — how could I remain a business mentor and speaker if I had failed at my own venture? But I had to do what I knew was right, not what would look best to the world. And Hashem had fortified me with the inner mettle I needed

6 of 9 What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

I grew up with a debilitating stutter and, paradoxically, much of my life now revolves around speaking. About six years ago, I wrote a book, The Gift of Stuttering (Mosaica Press, 2016), to describe the journey of finding meaning and true happiness not despite my adversity, but rather because of it.

I’ll highlight one story from the book that includes the “feedback” that inspired my journey.

Right before my wedding, I was super nervous. But it had nothing to do with the wedding jitters. Rather, I was afraid that my stutter would flare up when I got my aliyah at my aufruf, when tons of family, friends, and community would be there.

I strongly considered copping out of the aliyah, but ultimately, I decided to go for it. With shaky hands and sweaty palms, I hesitantly approached the bimah as they sang out my name. Everyone was excited, while I was silently freaking out, hoping and praying it wouldn’t be one of my full-blown stuttering episodes.

The baal korei showed me where he was up to: maftir of parshas Chukas. (Parenthetically, I’m writing this answer during the week of parshas Chukas!) As I looked at those first six words, I was absolutely blown away. Trembling, with tears welling up in my eyes, I caught a glimpse into what was perhaps the most prophetic moment of my life.

Vayomer Hashem — And Hashem said.

El Moshe — I have one Hebrew name, Moshe.

And here’s the kicker:

Al tira — Do not fear!

Hashem wasn’t telling me it was going to be easy or smooth, and it wasn’t. Instead, He was telling me not to fear, and that is perhaps the greatest feedback I’ve ever received.

Because we all face challenges in life, and they either cripple us or propel us forward. Not “fearing” the challenge means that we understand they come from a Higher source, even though we usually can’t understand why.

Al tira… Hashem has a plan. It’s all for our best. He loves us beyond anything we can imagine. I’ve taken that message forward with me in life, both regarding my stutter and other challenges I face, and it’s transformed my ability to try to remain strong, connected, and happy through whatever adversity Hashem sends my way.

7 of 9 If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk that would be watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

This question fascinates me. It’s basically asking: What is “your thing”? What is your unique message for the world?

As I reflect on the question, I’m transported to three big themes in my life over the last 15 years:

1. My passion for kiruv

I’ve seen how transformative it can be for secular Jews to experience what it’s like to learn Torah, celebrate Shabbos, or just meet “normal” frum people. It’s something I feel very passionate about, and if given a megaphone, I would love to spread this message further.

2. Growing through challenges

I faced lots of adversity with my stutter (and other areas of life) and I’ve grown to realize that Hashem has custom-designed this for me. I’ve internalized that He loves me, takes care of me, and has given these challenges to me because, for reasons I often cannot comprehend, He believes I need these things in my life to become the greatest version of myself. I’ve come to discover that many people are faced with similar questions, too. My book, The Gift of Stuttering, addresses those questions, and I subsequently shared my story with many shuls and organizations worldwide — with absolutely phenomenal feedback.

3. This 5 to 9 column

As I shifted from full-time kiruv into business, it became very difficult to juggle learning Torah, attending three daily minyanim, maintaining my involvement with kiruv, being an active husband and father… and also  hustling for a minimum of eight hours per day (and often much more) in business. The hours didn’t add up! How are we supposed to do it all?

I tried to learn from mentors who, in their own unique ways, were trying to synthesize a successful business career and growth-oriented Torah Judaism. And as a result, this 5 to 9 column was born.

Would these be three separate TED Talks?

I think the answer is no. Because these three themes really boil down to one central idea:

Let’s lead an awesome life!

Hashem loves us and gives us each a distinct package that uniquely positions us to accomplish our mission in this world. This adventure will include adversity, gravitation away from Torah, and pressure to also somehow support our families. And that’s this thing we call life. We’re currently on center stage, and the stakes are high. Let’s make it awesome!

8 of 9 Can you share a time when you had to navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

Nearly 20 years ago, back when I was in yeshivah in Israel, we were told to write a game plan for our lives. Did we plan to learn when we got older? How about minyan? What kind of girl did we want to marry? And what kind of home did we want to have?

I still have that notebook, and I occasionally look back at the life goals I’d set for myself during my later teenage years. One of the goals that always catches my eye is my dream of not just learning daf yomi, but teaching the daf. I can’t remember where the inspiration originated, but it had become a goal I hoped to achieve.

A couple years later, when I was transitioning from yeshivah into the workforce, I decided to begin learning the daf. I was still inspired by a recent Siyum HaShas and found it to be a fantastic way to be accountable for Gemara learning every day, and a step toward my ultimate goal of teaching the daf.

I was interested in learning the daf together with others, so I found a local shul in New Jersey with an early-morning daf yomi shiur. And what I experienced left an indelible mark on me. There was a small, diverse group of very successful businessmen who would rotate teaching the daf, each taking one day a week. It blew me away to see young, busy people not just “doing” the daf, but rather teaching it.

Would I have to wait until I was much older to begin teaching the daf? Or could I do it sooner? I wondered. But I quickly tabled that thought because I didn’t feel I was ready for anything like that.

About eight years later, my wife and I had moved to Eretz Yisrael and were living near Bar-Ilan University in Ramat Gan. My wife was the eim bayit at the Israel Experience kiruv program at the university, and I had just completed my MBA at Tel Aviv University, was teaching at the Israel Experience program, and looking for a job. I was also looking for a local daf yomi shiur in English, albeit unsuccessfully. I was perplexed. If there were countless English-speaking students and young professionals in the area, how could there be no daf yomi shiur in English?

Having just completed an MBA focused on entrepreneurship and also having just finished my first cycle of daf yomi (and wanting to do the second cycle at a higher level), I had a crazy idea: teach the daf near Bar-Ilan University! No need to wait until I was older. Here was a glaring opportunity to do it sooner.

My wife designed a cool flier, which we shared over social media. And much to my surprise, numerous people showed up to my daf yomi shiur.

I had a bad case of impostor syndrome, feeling like I didn’t belong to the cadre of daf yomi maggidei shiur. But I tried to shake that feeling; after all, what was the alternative? There were people in this community who clearly wanted to learn the daf yomi, and nobody else was stepping up to the plate. It was either me — or nothing. So I stepped up, took a swing, and this kick-started one the greatest highlights of my life.

A little while later, I moved to Ramat Beit Shemesh, thinking that my daf yomi teaching days were done. There were enough options already for daf yomi in RBS, I thought. But much to my chagrin, my new shul, KSY, had no daf yomi shiur — and shul members were interested in learning the daf together. So I restarted it… and baruch Hashem, we’re still going strong. It’s small, simple, and unplugged (not recorded); just some guys learning the daf together and having tons of fun. It’s not about numbers, viewers, or anything grandiose, yet it’s definitely one of the highlights of my day and one of the greatest achievements of my life.

About a year and a half ago, I took it a step further. I’d been producing short, inspirational videos for Aish.com and other outlets on the side, which was a cool way to inspire people all over the world while staying in Eretz Yisrael. But then I wondered, could I try to merge these two passions, teaching the daf and creating short, inspirational videos? Maybe I could create a 90-second daily video, based on an inspiring insight from the daf.

I definitely felt impostor syndrome once again. But I still moved forward with the plan. And bli ayin hara, I haven’t missed a day since we started (except the period of time around my father’s petirah and the shivah.) The videos are featured on OU’s AllDaf, TorahAnytime, and I share them via WhatsApp, too. (Feel free to join along!)

My message to you? Clarify some of your longer term goals. And then, begin doing things today that’ll help you work toward achieving them. While most business and start-up blogs would say that one really needs to allocate all one’s resources and efforts to ensure one’s business succeeds, I invest significant time to prepare and teach the daf. How do I juggle that with my work?

I have goals in my life beyond work. I know that Hashem wants me to learn and teach, and I work toward achieving that — not later in life, not “when I become comfortable,” but rather, right now. Hashem works in wondrous ways. With the hishtadlus we put into our business, He can make us succeed or fail. It’s in His hands. The extra time we invest in business won’t sway His decision.

9 of 9 If you were advising a young man/woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “dos” and “don’ts” would you share?

~4 years.

~60 interviews.

~120,000 words.

Here are my top 5 takeaways — and curated advice — from this 5 to 9 column:

We have awesome role models. I used to have two sets of role models: rabbis for Yiddishkeit and business leaders for my career. But I often didn’t see the overlap between these two worlds. Through these interviews, however, I discovered that we have countless, extraordinary role models who, each in their own unique way, juggle their growth-oriented Torah lifestyles and their successful careers. Make sure you secure for yourself the kind of role models that’ll help you succeed in all areas of life.

Each person is a world. Their background, challenges, passion, wins or losses… No two people are alike. And regardless of someone’s objective level of success, we can learn something from everyone. Remember: the people you know have many layers that you know nothing about. So, appreciate your uniqueness… and let that shine!

The struggle is real. Just because someone appears to have it all together, guess what? They don’t. Everyone I interviewed was still struggling to find “the balance,” trying to figure out how to better allocate time between their family, their Yiddishkeit, and their careers. They make mistakes, they struggle with different areas of life, and they’re looking to better clarify their true mission in this world — just like you and me. Be normal; be real. And appreciate the greatness inherent in that.

There isn’t a clear path. Career paths are rarely, if ever, linear. These interviewees constantly credited siyata d’Shmaya and Hashgachah as they traced back their disparate steps to their current success. Although we may be going through a difficult time, it’s important to remember that it all plays into a larger plan. And we have to appreciate the journey, not just the end (albeit elusive) destination.

Holy work. I conducted these interviews through the prism of business, but the subjects blew me away with their stories of sacrifice, integrity, and kiddush Hashem. Avodas Hashem is not just in the beis medrash, it’s also at the office. It’s about transforming every facet of our business endeavors into spiritual pursuits. We don’t lead double lives when going to the office. Rather, as Rav Hutner beautifully coined it, we’re leading “broad lives.” —

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 918)

The post Work/Life solutions with Moe Mernick first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Yoni Palmer, documentation team lead at Cross River Bank, a New Jersey-based financial services organization that provides technology infrastructure to fin-tech and technology companies. He is also the author of the riveting new book, Depressed (Mosaica Press, 2022).

What: Yoni has been in the technical writing field for over 20 years. He’s worked for major tech companies, including AT&T, Magic Software, and ECI Telecom, managing teams of different sizes. Prior to his current role at Cross River, he spent six years managing Tech-Tav, a prominent Israeli provider of tech-writing services that provides consultancy services to many companies at the forefront of the Israel high-tech scene. He’s also given presentations about tech writing trends at a number of international events and managed LinkedIn’s “Documentation and Technical Writing Management.”

Where: Yoni was born in Golders Green, London, and made aliyah in 1998. He and his family lived in Ramat Beit Shemesh for about 20 years, and now live in Neve Michael.

Why: “Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” This hit me hard when my friend Yoni recently published his book, Depressed (Mosaica Press, 2022). I thought I knew Yoni well. We davened together at KSY and have been friendly for years. He’s always been a paragon for community activism, from being the gabbai at various shuls, working on three Beit Shemesh elections, serving as a volunteer firefighter, and helping numerous chesed organizations. But clearly, he’s been fighting battles I knew nothing about. His new book shares a raw account of what it’s like for a frum man to struggle with depression, with the goal of helping those struggling with this debilitating yet common illness recognize that they aren’t alone. I applaud Yoni for bravely sharing his story, and I encourage everyone to read his book.

1 of 9 What opportunities or personalities played a key role in your career path?

I studied law in university but wasn’t really sure that was what I wanted to do. Shortly after graduation, I was talking to a family friend who was involved in marketing. She was explaining the writing aspect of her job to me, and told me she thought I would be very good at it. She also gave me some basic tips, which I still use today. But most importantly, she led me to think of writing as a profession.

Many people have never heard of technical writing, but they’ve all come into contact with technical writers’ work. On the simplest level, technical writing is about explaining how people can use different products. So whether you’re building a flat-pack closet from Ikea and using their image-based instructions, or reading your new car’s driver guide, you’re using the work of a technical writer.

While obviously creating a food processor manual is different from explaining complex enterprise-level cyber security systems, the principle remains the same: to make a product or service comprehensible for its users.

Probably my biggest career inspiration, though, would have been my first boss, Joe Gellert a”h. Joe, a friend of my father’s, was the executive director of Likud-Herut GB, the UK arm of the Likud party. He knew I hadn’t decided on a career path, and he invited me to work for him as his assistant. Together we arranged events in support of Israel as well as running activism campaigns. I learned so much from Joe about being organized and managing one’s tasks efficiently.

My work at Likud-Herut involved a lot of writing and creating publicity material. Joe was a veteran of the Soviet Jewry campaigns of the ’70s and ’80s and our movement continued its activism in the ’90s too, working on behalf of the communities in Judea, Samaria, and Gaza, campaigning for the release of missing Israeli servicemen, including Ron Arad, and lobbying the British government to remove an embargo on sales of weapons to Israel. Joe believed in letting people grow in their positions, and during my time working for him, I was given tremendous responsibilities, including coordinating visits of senior Israeli politicians like Yitzchak Shamir, Ariel Sharon, and Bibi Netanyahu. I’m forever grateful to the opportunities Joe gave me.

2 of 9 What three character traits have played a key role in your career path? 

My parents a”h influenced me tremendously, and the traits I find most instrumental in my career are things I saw at home, in the example they set for my brother and me.

First would be honesty. My father had a reputation as an honest broker, noted by his business colleagues, Jewish and gentile alike. He was reliable in every sphere of his life, whether with family and friends, the various communal organizations he was involved in, and in business.

The second trait is empathy and the ability to understand others. Sensitivity for others was also right up there in our home as a central middah when I was growing up. My father was the shul president, and he would deal so sensitively with the widows of the community. I find the ability to get into another’s head a key to success in technical writing. We need to get into the end user’s mind to understand what they want to do with a product so we can create the content they need to help them use our products successfully.

The third trait is the ability to connect with different people. In all areas of life, we’ll need to deal with other human beings even if they’re very different. There’s no reason why that should be an unpleasant experience for either side, and whether with neighbors, in business, community and family, we need to find ways to get along.

3 of 9 What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

I’m not sure that I do relax or recharge properly and that’s probably not so good. I find that I always have to be busy with something, trying to be productive. But I do love cooking, and in our house Shabbos cooking (minus dessert) is basically on me.

Another passion of mine is helping to run a shul or minyan. It’s in my blood; my father was a gabbai in Golders Green for many years and a great-grandfather of mine Hy”d had a shtibel in his home on the outskirts of Warsaw. The Covid lockdowns and the ensuing closing of shuls were very hard for me, but now that things are back to normal, I look for any opportunity to serve in this capacity. It’s a form of escapism, but more importantly it allows me to help the tzibbur and serve Hashem in such a direct way.

One fun thing I’ve started doing recently is serving as a volunteer firefighter. Like many boys, this was a childhood dream of mine, and I’m so grateful to Hashem that it’s happened.

4 of 9 What was your most resounding failure?

I would say it was my first and only business idea that I actually implemented. It was 1992 and I had just left university. Recycling was still in its infancy, and local authorities were not separating recyclable garbage. I figured I could maybe make some money by charging businesses to collect their waste paper — the UK charges business for commercial waste disposal — and then selling it on for recycling. But at the time, the UK was in the midst of a deepening recession and the price of paper plummeted. Instead of me being paid by the paper mills for paper I collected, I would have had to pay them to take it off my hands. My whole business model kind of crumpled, and not only didn’t it make any money, it actually began to lose significantly.

My biggest takeaway is that maybe I should have persisted and put in more effort and passion into making it work. Today recycling is a massive global business that grows constantly, and maybe I could have been a pioneer in the field. Still, I don’t regret what happened because we have to learn from our mistakes and look forward. Today I understand that my hishtadlus for a successful project requires the right amount of effort and passion to make it work.

5 of 9 If you were granted an extra three hours per day or a spare million dollars, what would you do with that time or money?

If I had the extra hours, I would split them between some more family time, learning more Torah, whether on my own, with a chavrusa, or attending additional shiurim, and being osek b’tzarchei tzibbur. If I had a spare million dollars, I would use it toward various projects for the klal, including help for people suffering from depression and providing support for couples experiencing fertility issues. I would also indulge my dream of establishing a one-stop-shop for gabbaim of embryonic shuls where they could find everything they need to run their communities, from sifrei Torah on loan to accounting assistance, free siddurim and Chumashim, and general consulting to make a success of their project.

6 of 9 What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

It’s actually feedback that I’ve received only very recently. With the help of Mosaica Press, I was recently zocheh to publish a book about my struggle with depression and suicidal feelings. The book, called Depressed, has been on sale since January, and I keep getting feedback about how powerful the book and my story are. Total strangers have reached out to tell me how much it meant to them to read the book.

For some, it’s about me having put into words what they feel and haven’t been able to express to those around them. For those looking into this world, it’s given them an insight into what depression actually feels like for the sufferer. There are others who just want to commend me for having told my own personal, raw story to break the taboo around depression.

It was very hard to write my story, but I felt it was the right thing to do. The feedback I’ve received has borne that out, and it’s also given me the strength to continue talking about this issue and doing whatever I can in some small way to help others.

I’ve already given presentations to a couple of organizations and have some more scheduled for the next couple of months. These also resulted in incredibly encouraging and supportive feedback. There is such an urgent need for us to have discussions about mental health in the frum community, and I feel that this is just the beginning of a journey that I have been sent on, and such a tremendous act of chesed that I can do.

7 of 9 If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk that would be watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

Without a doubt I would speak about depression. Issues surrounding mental health are definitely hot topics today and I’d talk about my own experience with depression. Around 15 years ago, following a ten-year period of what two therapists called an “emotional holocaust” that included losing my father suddenly, miscarriages and fertility challenges, and a daughter born at 25 weeks who teetered between life and death, I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

The PTSD brought on depression, though I didn’t know that at first. Only after I came very close to committing suicide, and I realized that I had to talk to someone, did I start seeing a therapist, who explained to me that I was suffering from depression. Depression is something that many people live with, and I think it’s vital to be able to talk about it. There are so many people who suffer in silence, and in some cases, unfortunately, do end up taking their lives.

As I know from talking to professionals both before and after my book was published, frum men find it hard to talk about their depression, and so many are suffering in silence. My TED talk would tell my story and try to destigmatize the topic. The more we talk about this illness and help people feel that they’re not alone and it’s okay to feel the way they do, the more we’ll be able to help them.

8 of 9 Can you share a time when you had to navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

The biggest challenge I’ve had is with employee-management issues. As a manager, you have the power to retain team members or let them go.

Even when there’s an issue of poor performance, I’m always conscious that while on the one hand there’s the not-insignificant matter of doing what’s right for the organization, at the same time we’re dealing with someone’s livelihood, and taking that away can have implications for generations to come. On a few occasions I asked sh’eilos about what my obligations were. Thirty or 40 years ago, employees could find themselves in jobs for life. Today this isn’t the case, and dealing with issues of contract termination for whatever reason is quite common for the modern manager.

As frum Jews, we have that extra burden when making these significant life-affecting decisions to make sure our choices and decisions are morally correct to the best of our limited capabilities as basar v’dam.

9 of 9 If you were advising a young man/woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “dos” and “don’ts” would you share?

I guess my entrepreneurial experience comes more from the communal world, but I’ll also add some real-world experience. Firstly, I think it’s important to have a clear vision of where you want to get to. Coupled with that is having clarity in what you need to do to achieve your goals — a plan.

In the don’ts column, I would advise never to give up on your dream, whatever it is. In life we will fail and fall, but the trick is to pick ourselves up and continue on the journey. Life throws us many challenges along the way, but as believing Jews we know that everything is for a reason. Having goals and dreams that are worthwhile and meaningful to us enable us to face the challenges and move past them. And getting past them makes us who we are.

One of my personal dreams was to publish a book, which, baruch Hashem, I was able to do. It wasn’t necessarily the subject I’d always dreamed of, but nevertheless, it’s there in hard copy and in the stores.

Writing about my struggles with depression wasn’t easy at all. Writing demands creativity, and when you’re depressed, it’s hard enough to do basic things like getting out of bed, eating, or davening. Writing a book when you’re depressed is one serious challenge. But I knew it had to be done, that it was something that could benefit the tzibbur. And hard as it was, I pushed on to put the words to paper. I’m so grateful to the Almighty for helping me complete the book, and the reward is that I can look back on the challenges and, as it were, pat myself on the back that I achieved something against the odds. That’s an incredible feeling and well worth persevering for.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 905)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Yoni Palmer first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Mark Halpern, Certified Financial Planner, Trust and Estate Practitioner, and Master Financial Advisor-Philanthropy, is CEO of WEALTHinsurance.com.  He is widely recognized as one of Canada’s top life insurance advisors.  Working with clients, charities, and foundations, and collaborating with allied professionals, he aims to generate a billion dollars in new planned giving legacy gifts. He’s also very active in many Jewish organizations.

What: Mark has a team across Canada that provides special expertise and insurance strategies for business owners, entrepreneurs, professionals and affluent families. He works closely with clients’ professional financial advisors to provide holistic estate planning, tax-mitigation strategies, and strategic philanthropic planning, often converting taxes into charity. He writes frequent articles for the TaxLetter, Investor’s Digest of Canada, and Foundations Magazine and is often quoted in national media and financial industry publications.

Mark has been a keynote speaker on the main platform at Top of the Table meetings, The Million Dollar Round Table, and many other industry conferences and corporate functions. He’s a member of many nonprofits, including Sick Kids Foundation, St. Joseph’s Health Center Foundation, and TV Ontario, and is a trustee and recent Chair at The Jewish Foundation of Greater Toronto.

Where: Mark and his wife Rhonda have five children, and they live in Thornhill, Ontario.

Why: Mark is an extraordinarily inspiring person. Period.

A little more elaboration?  First, as Mark shares in the interview, he lost his father at a young age, and that experience shaped his entire career trajectory and life mission. I’m blown away when someone can grow through their challenges, ultimately using them as a springboard to positively impact others’ lives.

Second, Mark is a walking and talking kiddush Hashem, between his active involvement in numerous secular causes, the business ethics courses he teaches to students and young professionals, and his efforts to educate others how they can convert tax dollars to charitable donations.

Lastly, he manages to find time to incorporate Torah and chesed into his schedule, including learning a daily second seder, learning the daf, serving as Aish Toronto’s president for the past six years, and teaching a kiruv class every Shabbos at the Thornhill Woods shul.

1 of 9 What opportunities or personalities played a key role in your career path?

My father, of blessed memory, passed away young. He suffered a heart attack and died at the age of 50. It was 1974, and I was only 11 years old. His passing was a defining part of my life. Having no father to fall back on, I had to become fiercely independent, resourceful, and resilient.

Part of the reason I work in the field I do is a direct result of my father’s untimely passing. He was a busy engineer and sadly, he died without a will, very little savings, and no life insurance. My mother, who was 48 at the time, had to go back to work to support our family, and it was very challenging. I felt compelled to make sure other families wouldn’t have to go through what I experienced.

I’ve also been very fortunate to have been influenced by incredible mentors and inspirational role models like Rav Noach Weinberg, of blessed memory, the founder of Aish HaTorah. He was a one-in-a-million Jewish leader, and he got me to really think about my place in the world and what I should be doing to make it better.  I firmly believe that everyone is brought into this world with unique abilities. The challenge is identifying what those special talents are, and seeing how to best put them to good use.

One of my incredible mentors is Dr. Paul Goldstein. He’s a Holocaust survivor who was at the top 1 percent of my industry, having qualified for the Top of the Table, for 40 consecutive years.  He went back to school at the age of 80 to get his master’s degree. Paul then got his PhD at 86, and now, at 88, he just had a book published by Cambridge Scholars Press on the Balfour Declaration. I cold-called him over 20 years ago and asked to meet with him, hoping he would agree to mentor me.  He said no, but I persisted, and pressed him to give me some time. Thank G-d, he agreed. He’s been an amazing friend and influence on me and others, especially in how to deal with adversity. We just finished taping a podcast that I believe is mandatory listening for people wanting to learn how to deal with adversity.

Our sages say that all the blessing in one’s life comes from your wife, and that is so true of my wonderful spouse of 26 years. My wife Rhonda has been the best partner and biggest influence in my life, and keeps the whole family going. She’s built our home and five children into the wonderful people they’ve become. She’s been by my side cheerleading me through many challenging times and has never let me slide.  Whom you marry is the most important decision you will ever make, and the day I met her was the best day of my life.

2 of 9 Which three character traits have played a key role in your career path?

Number one is having a sense of humor.  We need to laugh and we need simchah.  Happiness is like the bumper on a car.  Without it, an accident will destroy the entire vehicle; with it, the car may be dented, but it will stay intact. The secret is to focus on how good life is and appreciate all that you have versus focusing on all that you want and don’t have.

Number two is resilience. It’s really important to be able to bounce back. We’re all standing in a boxing ring every day of our lives.  You’ll get hit, you’ll get hurt and you’ll get knocked down.  But you can’t get knocked out. So stay on the canvas, it’s okay. But you only have ten seconds to get back up again.  A true champion is someone who has the maturity to recognize that.

Number three is caring for others. It’s really important that you step up and help people.  So many people are hurting. They need someone to talk to. They have things in their lives that you can help with that may only involve a simple phone call, some help finding a job, or a referral to a service provider. This has always been a big part of who I am and gives me a deep sense of pleasure and purpose.

3 of 9 What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

I love spending time with my family. We love taking a cottage  every summer — it’s a real highlight. Spending Shabbos and Yom Tov together are golden times for me.  And my charity activities give me a great deal of joy; I serve on a lot of boards and pass it forward by mentoring many advisors.  I’m also grateful to learn every day in a kollel from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m., which I’ve been doing for the past 13 years.  My rabbi, who is also my chavrusa, is Rabbi Avraham Bitterman of Ateres Mordechai. He gives me ample doses of mussar, which we all need.  I also find time to do daf yomi with the incredible Rabbi Eli Stefansky.

Back in 1991, I was working with a very dear friend who went on a men’s personal development retreat. He found it to be very worthwhile and really felt I should attend one as well. I was extremely reluctant, though, believing my life was in pretty good shape. But I trusted my friend, and eventually, in 1993 I went on the retreat.  It was a defining moment for me. It helped me address some key things in my life, and I got a lot of clarity on what real commitment and trust look like.

I encouraged another five very close friends to attend the retreat too, and since 1997, we meet weekly in a safe place to define and declare the man we each want to be, make commitments, and submit ourselves for peer inspection. We even have consequences for not following through.  We also have a lot of fun and celebrate life together.

As a group, we recognized there were many men out there who are “lone rangers,” and we wanted them to experience the feeling of community that we had. We created something called “Team Building for Jewish Men.” We currently have around 50 men in our network, and I’m very proud of the work we’ve done in creating these communities. They both challenge and inspire men to be their very best.

5 of 9 If you were granted an extra three hours per day or a spare million dollars, what would you do with that time or money?

I’d use the extra three hours to learn more Torah.  And if I had a spare million, I’d use it to create a fund to help families get access to professional medical and psychological services that they can’t afford.  I’d also want to spend more time with family and close friends. They are the oxygen in my life.

6 of 9 What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

At the age of 32 I was hosting a dinner party, and a terrible accident happened where I fell from the third-story balcony of my apartment. I fractured my right ankle, dislocated my left foot, and suffered a compression  fracture in my back.  I was in the hospital for 31 days. Thank G-d, my ankle, with permanent pins inside, fully healed, and I’ve even been able to run half marathons.

Being in the hospital allowed me to think about my life, and a lot of good things emerged from what most people would think is a horrific experience.

Rabbi Yaakov Palatnik, then the rabbi of the Village Shul, came to see me, and I asked him, “Why did this happen?”

“I don’t know,” he replied, “but you can find out.”

He suggested I take some time off to go to Israel and do some learning. I thought that was crazy advice. But 15 months after the accident, I did take six months off from my business to go to Israel and study at a yeshivah. It was challenging being an older guy among all these younger people — but it really gave me a sense of perspective and brought me closer to Judaism.

Eventually Rabbi Palatnik’s wife Lori introduced me to my wife (Rhonda was her first student). We got married, and for the first two years after our wedding we lived in the Old City, where our first son Yosef was born. It was a magical time that I recommend for every newly married couple.  Every year, on the anniversary of my accident, I make a kiddush in shul to publicly thank G-d for the miracle that happened to me, and every year on our wedding anniversary, we send flowers to Lori Palatnik and tell her again how grateful we are for her introduction.

7 of 9 If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk that would be watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

I did one!  In 2019 I did a TED Talk at Moses Znaimer’s ideacity conference in Toronto for an audience of 700.  I was in the disruptors category, and the title was “The New Philanthropy.”  I encourage you to watch it.  I love to spread my message of the importance of helping people and the power of philanthropy and creating family legacies through tax minimization strategies. Our corporate goal is to create $100 million of new charity annually working with clients, charities, and collaborating with allied professionals. Our larger goal is to build a national community in Canada and the US of 100 professionals who would each create $10 million of new planned legacy gifts per year that would equal $1 billion of new charity. This is especially imperative for Orthodox communities and organizations.  Going full circle, I’m now helping Aish HaTorah Jerusalem launch a $250 million endowment called the Rav Noach Legacy Society, working with my dear friend and colleague Ken Fink of Tamar Fink in Minneapolis.

8 of 9 an you share a time when you had to navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

Let me share some background about my accident falling off the third-story balcony. After first working in sports marketing, I started in the insurance industry on November 1, 1991.  After a while, I started to do quite well. But while I was making money, I felt a disconnect between what I was doing on the outside and what I was feeling on the inside.

I’d never had a formal Jewish education, although the memories of my father z”l saying Shema with me and my brother every night on our beds are imprinted in my soul. I decided to go to some local classes at Aish HaTorah. I met some amazing people and the classes really spoke to me. It was the beginning of my journey toward becoming a fully observant Jew, and I realized there was a disconnect between the trajectory I wanted to take in my life and some of the decisions I was making.

I had a client during this period who was moving out of town, and the only day he could see me was on Shabbos. That very Motzaei Shabbos, which was the day after Rosh Hashanah, I had my accident falling off the balcony. It was the last time I worked on Shabbos.

I realized I had to pick a side. I made a decision, and the tension lifted. Shabbos is an incredible gift, a spiritual spa, and I feel so sad for Jews who have never experienced a real Shabbos.  I can’t imagine going an entire lifetime without having experienced the pure delight of Shabbos.  I’ve never once regretted that decision.

9 of 9 If you were advising a young man/woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “dos” and “don’ts” would you share?

Entrepreneurship is a bit like water. Sometimes, your passion burns so intensely that it’s like a steam iron, flattening all wrinkles. At other times, when things aren’t gelling, your passion freezes like a block of ice and you feel weighed down. As an entrepreneur, you’ll most likely experience both extremes. Be acutely aware of maintaining a balance. This will lead to harmony and flow, and your business will feel less like work and more like fulfilling your life’s purpose.

Be prepared to work hard and challenge yourself to work smart.  I wasn’t a great student, but I did figure out ways to get results with lots of effort, and by finding out who could help me.  Networking, public speaking, and learning how to present and sell yourself and sell ideas are critical skills — practice them daily.

Don’t ever forget your family. It’s vital that you put them first, even when you’re swamped with work. No matter what happens, family will be the only ones left who will always have your back.

Be prepared to take risks and do things people say you can’t do — they’re  usually wrong.  There are two types of people in life — winners and learners. You will learn from every disappointment, and you tend to sleep better at night knowing you tried your best, win or learn.  It’s really all up to Hashem.

Remember that it’s a marathon and not a sprint.  I like to say that it has taken me 30 years to become an overnight success.

Finally, and most importantly, don’t wait for the ability before taking on the responsibility.  If you do that, you’ll be wasting a lot of time, and sadly, maybe your entire life.  G-d has created a beautiful world that requires you to take on the responsibility first, and then you get the ability.  Try it. Test it. It’s the secret to a happy and successful life.

Moe runs business development at Triple Whale (a high-growth tech startup), gives a daily Daf Yomi Shiur, and produces a short, inspiring video on each Daf (available on TorahAnytime and AllDaf). He holds an MBA and Semicha, wrote a book about growing through challenges (The Gift of Stuttering), and lives in Ramat Bet Shemesh with his wife and children.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 901)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Mark Halpern first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Shmuel Eliwatt, once an aspiring professional race car driver and now CEO of Zahava Networks, a telecommunications and IT consulting company.

What: Following an initial career at Arthur Anderson, Shmuel has been consulting and engineering data networking and telecommunications solutions for businesses and high-end home offices for almost 20 years. He provides VIP services to businesses, schools, and home offices in both the US and Israel.

Where: Shmuel grew up in East Brunswick, New Jersey, and moved to California after high school to pursue his dream of becoming a professional race car driver. After attending Chaffey College (the only US college at that time that provided a direct educational track for a career in motorsports), he worked at Drivetech Racing School in San Bernardino, California, first as an intern and then as a full-time race mechanic. He then moved back to New Jersey to study at Rutgers University. While in college he took an elective class called “Modern Trends in Judaism,” taught by Rabbi Dr. Moshe Sherman (now a dean at Touro College), which brought him closer to Yiddishkeit. During those years, he also realized that professional race car driving wasn’t compatible with the life he wanted to live. He left the States to study at Ohr Somayach in Israel, where he also met his future wife. They got married in 2001 and lived in Passaic, New Jersey, for seven years before making aliyah. He now lives with his wife and children in Ramat Beit Shemesh.

Why: Well, how many people do you know who trained to be a professional race car driver? More importantly, Shmuel embodies noble character traits that inspire me: First, he’s one of the friendliest people I know; everyone in his orbit feels seen, heard, and valued. Second, notwithstanding his demanding work schedule, he’s very involved with chesed and Torah learning opportunities, from raising money for local organizations to his commitment to Daf Yomi. Third, while he’s had his ups and downs in business, which he shares in this interview, he maintains unwavering bitachon in Hashem.

1 of 9 What opportunities or personalities played a role in your career path?

I once aspired to be a professional race car driver. My dad planted the seed. I was eight years old when he took me to my first race at Flemington Fair Speedway in New Jersey. And by 18, I was ready to join the starting lineup. But without money or connections, I was stuck. So I headed off to California to obtain a degree in race car technology.

My professor knew that designing and building race cars was just a side gig for me while I waited for my big chance to drive. So he found me an internship at a new race car driving school where I was promised “seat” time. I practiced my driving skills doing solo time trials in professional race cars at 130 miles per hour, fancying myself the next Mario Andretti.

When I moved back to New Jersey, I enrolled in Rutgers University and took a position with a local race team. I helped prepare the race car during the week and worked on the pit crew on Friday and Saturday nights at both Flemington and East Windsor Speedways.

While in college, I moved closer to Yiddishkeit, and soon began to skip my weekend job at the racetrack because of Shabbos. And at some point, I had an epiphany — I realized that the dream that had defined my entire childhood did not align with my goals as an adult.

Racing means you’re either on the road a lot, away from your family, or you’re uprooting your family often, moving to new locations. But mainly, as I got older, the allure of risking my life to win a race faded. The lessons I learned from my racing experiences, however, are ingrained in me for life and play a huge role in my career.

Racing is ultimately about winning.

Every driver grips his steering wheel hoping he will be the first to cross the finish line. But he knows his performance is mainly contingent on the car, and however much prep work has gone into getting the car ready will show in its functioning. And a lot of advance work goes into preparing a car to win.

Probably the biggest lesson I gleaned from racing is this: Implementation will only be as good as the preparation behind it.

At the beginning of my technology career, I worked in the in-house IT department at Arthur Anderson, LLP.  My managers expected me to give their clients the highest quality solutions without compromise. They pushed me and never let me get away with doing anything halfway.

“It’s not about what the client thinks he wants,” they told me. “It’s about what he needs. And sometimes, he needs less than what he wants, and sometimes, the opposite is true.”

They set the bar high, but with a lot of preparation and planning, our team was able to successfully deliver real solutions.

2 of 9 Which three character traits have played a key role in your career path?

Independence. Entrepreneurs are the only people willing to work 80 hours per week. And that’s me. I’m independent and thrive in environments where I can carve out my own path and make my own decisions, even if those decisions are sometimes more challenging.

Out-of-the-box thinking. I’m also an out-of-the-box thinker. Sometimes, my ideas are too wild (remember, I wanted to be a race car driver), but most of the time, my independence and resourcefulness help me get ahead.

One of my biggest successes early on was landing the Statue of Liberty/Ellis Island as my client. I was up against the bigwigs like Verizon and AT&T. But because I was a boutique company, I could provide my clients with an out-of-the-box solution tailored to them. The board appreciated my approach.

Relationship skills. I’m a real extrovert. When we first moved to Israel, I davened in a very Israeli shul on Friday nights. During those first few months, when I returned home from shul on time, my wife was shocked. The table wasn’t even set.

“What are you doing home so early?” she wondered.

“I can’t speak Hebrew, so I had no one to talk with,” I explained.

Talking with people and hearing their stories is one of my favorite pastimes. If I call a client to ask a simple billing question, I can easily end up having a 25-minute conversation about the weather or the history of Jews in Spain.

When it comes to business, my good friend and longtime strategic partner, Abe Lemmer of Compu-Phone Voice and Data always reminded me: “More than anything else, your clients will teach you the business. Just listen to them.”

Listening and building relationships are the keys to creating trust. My love of connecting to people from all walks of life gets me out of bed in the morning and motivates me to figure out what will make their lives better.

4 of 9 What would you say was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

For 18 years I ran Zahava Networks USA, a telecommunications and IT consulting company, using a brokerage model. I worked with a few different companies selling their products, and built up a substantial residual income. But then the biggest company I worked with filed a $13 billion bankruptcy. Not one of my evergreen clauses or contracts could save me — they cut me off. Overnight, I lost 75 percent of the income I had built up over 18 years.

I was terrified. How could I make up that income? How would I support my family? I was already living in Israel, my Hebrew was terrible, and I’d been running my company at night during American hours. I frantically called my contacts, considered other approaches to doing the same work, and rushed off to the US to meet with everyone and anyone I knew in an attempt to rebuild my business. But the telecommunications industry in the US had changed drastically, and there was no longer a way for me to rebuild a profitable model.

There were no open doors anywhere, and if I hadn’t been a humble person before that time, I became very humble.

While the bankruptcy had nothing to do with me, my failure was due to my lack of preparation and foresight. Had I better diversified my services or owned my client base (rather than maintaining a brokerage model) I could have avoided that situation. I just never envisioned the scenario where a multibillion-dollar telephone company would suddenly go bankrupt and cut me off.

I lost that race by a full lap.

On a positive note, I now understood on a much deeper level that Hashem has a plan. All along, my wife and I said to one another — Hashem has a plan for us. We don’t know what it is exactly and when it will become clear,  but the plan will unfold soon. We held on to that belief and worked really hard to move on.

In hindsight, I’m grateful for the experience. Though I’d been living in Israel for more than a decade when this happened, it was only afterward that I could really say that I’d finally made aliyah. I built a new branch to my business, Zahava Networks Israel, and adjusted my business model. Now I work Israeli hours — which means I can get to bed early, wake up early, and learn in the mornings before I start work.

5 of 9 If you were granted an extra three hours per day, or a spare million dollars, what would you do with them?

I would open a new kind of yeshivah.

Both Torah learning and general studies can be challenging for kids who struggle with learning disabilities (or for kids who learn well outside the traditional classroom environment), and that results in negative associations. It starts young. And the baggage grows. But if we catch kids before they develop baggage, and build their self-confidence through other disciplines and more active ways of learning, they’ll bring more enthusiasm and motivation to their studies. I’ve seen it happen. My dream is to one day open a yeshivah for young boys through high school that includes additional coursework in woodworking, carpentry, metal work, aircraft and automotive training, technical skills, etc. It’s a big-picture mentality. If done right, a yeshivah like this could not only preempt major issues later on, but better prepare the next generation to be productive members of society. Of course, we’d have a home-built school race car.

6 of 9 What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

My first corporate job was at Arthur Anderson, LLC. It came to an abrupt end following the Enron scandal. The entire company collapsed, and I was forced to find another job.

I soon found a job teaching math and science in a local yeshivah ketanah in the US and became the technology director in another school. I loved teaching, but by the end of the year, after much soul searching, I knew I had to return to the corporate world.  The week before my last paycheck arrived, my wife and I went to our rav, Rabbi Ron Yitzchok Eisenman, to request a brachah for parnassah.

He said, “I’m not going to give you a brachah. But I’ll give you advice. Tomorrow, come to davening on time and daven with kavanah. Then stop off and buy some bagels. Go home, have a nice breakfast with your wife and little boy, and just connect. Don’t talk about money. After the meal, bentsh slowly and think about all the ways Hashem takes care of you and helps you in your life.”

I did that. I also returned to the Sunday morning kollel in shul.

Less than a day later, someone I didn’t know contacted me. He ran a telecommunications consulting company, and he needed a sales manager. I knew nothing about telecommunications, and my last sales job had been in high school when I worked at an electronics store. But I knew Hashem was speaking to me. I took the job and two years later, I opened Zahava Networks.

Whenever life gets tough, I remember Rav Eisenman’s words.

On a different note, when I moved to Israel, I had the chance to “race” again. I found a go-karting racetrack and allowed myself one opportunity to revel in old times.  After I climbed out of the go-kart, the manager looked at me stunned.

“Where in the world did you come from?” he said. I was a tenth of a second off the track record for the fastest time.

It was good to know I still had it. But it was even better to know that I had left it behind.

7 of 9 If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

Race car driving is a perfect metaphor for business and life. While most people think that a car race is just a bunch of cars driving around in circles for three hours at high speeds, I know enough to appreciate what’s really happening.

Rick Mears, a four-time Indianapolis 500 winner, once said, “While no race can be won on the first lap, it can be lost there.”

And it often is.

The more reckless drivers use up all their resources in the first few laps, but good drivers are careful to preserve their tires for the final sprint at the end of the race. They also avoid using their throttle too often and too early on to conserve fuel and make fewer pit stops (which take up precious time).

Similarly, entrepreneurs who create a business plan, considering from all angles how to allocate their resources to achieve the most profitability, will likely stick around the longest.

Successful drivers also understand that it’s not just what you know about the racetrack, it’s what you see and what you feel during the race. Is it hot? Is it cold?  Weather affects how a car performs. Where’s the competition? Who’s behind? Who’s in front? They have a high awareness of what’s going on around them, and are always looking several cars ahead, planning for the next corner and preparing for the next “pass.”

It’s no different when you’re running a business.

What’s the “climate” of the industry you’re working in? If your market is becoming saturated, what are you going to do about that? How are you looking ahead and setting yourself up for new opportunities?

While racing, watching the competition can be distracting. Yes, it’s important to take note of their lap times to confirm you’re on pace. But if you focus too much on the competition, it takes away from what you’re trying to accomplish.

In fact, I’ve learned that your focus should be on what the competition is not doing.

NASCAR has a rule book regarding what you can and can’t do. It’s the job of any racing crew chief to look beyond the black-and-white rules and find the gray. What points did NASCAR not write a rule about? And that’s where crew chiefs find opportunity. The biggest compliment to any racing crew chief is when NASCAR prints a new rule the week after he wins a race. How to be different and better is key.

When you work in the gray, you can find niche markets. At Zahava Networks, not everyone is our client. And that’s okay.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 897)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Shmuel Eliwatt first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Donny Fein, cofounder of KLY Realty, and founder of Mitzvah Opportunity, an organization that directly helps families in Israel with immediate, essential financial needs, without any red tape or overhead.

What: Donny cofounded KLY Realty with a dream of matching foreign buyers, new olim, and Israeli residents with their dream home in Israel. He works through all time zones to make sure that when his clients land in Israel, they’ll have a comfortable place to call home. Donny is also a connector, finding profitable investment deals for people interested in investing in Israeli real estate.

Where: Born in Brooklyn and raised in Staten Island, Donny Fein spent his early professional years in a midsize accounting firm in Manhattan, and then he moved into life insurance. Donny and his family settled in Cedarhurst, where he spent many years as a life insurance agent before moving to Israel, where he became the sole Israeli agent selling American policies to people living in Israel. Eventually, he found his passion in real estate, which led him to launch KLY Realty.

Why: Donny is always looking for ways to make life better for others. His real estate firm helps many people move to Israel and settle into a comfortable home. While his professional trajectory was neither linear nor smooth, he rolls with Hashem’s plan and sees the good in it all. Donny is multifaceted and integrates everything he loves into his daily life: He’s passionate about learning the daf, loves to mountain-bike in the gorgeous terrain around Beit Shemesh, and leaves no stone unturned when it comes to raising funds for others. He’s raised over 1.6 million shekels for his Mitzvah Opportunity fund, helping families with specific needs, without bureaucracy, red tape, or humiliation. And finally, he’s just a really good, all-around, happy kinda guy, the kind of person you always want to meet!

1 of 9 What opportunities or personalities played a role in your career path?

I have actually had a few careers in my life but they all led me to where I am today. I was always a hustler — when I was eight, I would charge my older sisters $5 to organize their closets. By the time I was in college I still could not pinpoint what I would be doing, but I decided that studying accounting would be a good way for me to learn how other people make parnassah. One major thing I learned then was that successful people do not actually make a parnassah doing any one thing. While they may specialize in one business, they are often invested in multiple industries. And so I learned never to pigeonhole myself into any one industry, and to always keep my eye open for new opportunities.

After working in accounting for a few years, I saw an opportunity to invest in a kosher pizza franchise. I put together a simple business plan and approached an investor to see if he would be willing to partner with me. I would put in sweat equity and he would put in the cash. The pizza shop was open for one year until we called it quits — the partnership didn’t work out and working with the franchise proved to be very difficult. Yet during that year, I went from sitting behind a desk taking orders from the partners in the accounting firm to running a business with over 30 employees, making sure we made payroll each month. Even though the business didn’t succeed, I’m ever grateful for that year, as it was like a full-on degree in business management, better than anything taught in school.

Then the question was, where to go from there? I was given the opportunity to join an incredible partner and go into the insurance business. I took my experiences in dealing with people and business and started a successful insurance business, and together we did very well in a niche part of the industry. From this niche insurance, to eventually being the only agent selling American life insurance to US citizens living in Israel, and to building a real estate company with my partner Rob Ernst, my journey has been a long one, but each step helped me to the next — and now I can say I’m finally where I’m supposed to be.

2 of 9 Which three character traits have played a key role in your career path?

Organization. When I was six years old, I was in a sleepaway camp in upstate New York. My mom worked in the camp and she would do my laundry. One day she came into my bunk to get my dirty laundry and saw that my laundry bag was empty. I had neatly folded my dirty laundry and put it back in the cubby. While I now know where dirty laundry goes, I also now know how to keep my business-related matters organized. Keeping track of bank balances and paying bills on time are vital, so that even when times are tough — and there have been tough times — I know where I stand.

Stubbornness. Kohanim are known to be stubborn. My dad is a Kohein and my mom is a bas Kohein, so it’s in my blood through and through. And guess what — my wife is also a bas Kohein, so you can imagine what that means for my four sons. While being stubborn has certainly gotten me into trouble throughout the years, it has also gotten me to where I am today. I don’t take no for an answer, and I stick to my core beliefs. While I’m not any type of extremist, I do have red lines that I don’t compromise on, in business, religion, and family life.

Being Driven. I am not ashamed to say I’ve had failures in my life — yes, I’ve fallen more than seven times, but I always get back up. It’s cliché, but if I can steal a line from Batman, “We fall in order to get back up.”

3 of 9 What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

In order to lead a happy and meaningful life, a few outside activities are important to feed the body and the soul. I don’t consider myself a big learner, and I never really spent much time in a beis medrash, but over the last year I returned to daf yomi. I’d gone through some of the daf a few cycles ago, but I really had not picked up a Gemara since. Then a friend introduced me to the daf yomi shiur given by Eli Stefansky (Mercaz Daf Yomi). To be honest, when I first began, there was nothing better to do at 7:15 a.m. as we were on lockdown with no place to go. But I was immediately hooked. Eli’s knowledge and enthusiasm is contagious. I’ll confess that I did take a break for about a month during Pesachim, but what I missed the most, other than the learning, was the chevrati atmosphere of the daf. There are guys from all over the world learning with Eli, and he’s able to bring us all together to make us all feel part of something really huge and amazing. I never thought I’d actually make a siyum, but I’ve already made a few and I intend to make a siyum on Shas this time around. I strongly encourage guys who have not tried it to jump on anytime. If I can do it, anyone can.

I’ve always been into playing sports. As a teen I played basketball and hockey, and soon after I moved to Israel with my family in August 2009, I went on my first mountain bike ride. It was love at first ride. Living in Beit Shemesh, there is no shortage of awesome trails, and after 12 years, five bikes, and thousands of kilometers, I’m still obsessed. When I lived in New York, I’d go to a gym about five times a week to lift weights. I thought I was in good shape, but biking up the Beit Shemesh mountains showed me the cold hard truth — I wasn’t keeping up with the guys, so I started to run, which really helped increase my cardio and speed on the bike. At the age of 39, after running many half marathons, I decided I must get a full marathon under my belt before I turned 40. I trained really hard for about eight months, and at some point my legs were so sore I told my wife I would rather have knee-replacement surgery than not cross the finish line. About a month before my 40th birthday I ran the full Tel Aviv marathon. It was probably the hardest single physical activity I had ever done in my entire life.

Often I wake up very early to run or ride, especially during the summer when it can be 90 degrees by 8 a.m. I make physical activity a priority, as I find it helps me focus when I’m behind the desk. I get more work done in one hour after a bike ride than I would in four hours on a non-exercise day.

5 of 9 If you were granted an extra three hours per day or a spare million dollars, what would you do with that time or money?

This is a really difficult question, one I often ask myself. I would choose three extra hours a day because one of my biggest weaknesses is time management. As soon as I wake up in the morning my mind is racing. My goal each day is to daven, learn, exercise, work, and spend time with my family. I keep to-do lists that keep getting longer because there are so many things I want to accomplish in a day. I often take a notepad and pen with me to minyan in the morning just so I can write things down. This helps get it out of my head so I can focus on davening. I don’t know if three hours per day would help me be more productive, but if you add up the extra time, in a week it would make a huge difference.

6 of 9 What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

Since 2017 I’ve been quietly running a WhatsApp group called Mitzvah Opportunity. The group was set up to help struggling families in Israel with immediate financial needs. I started the group because while I on my own couldn’t help the families, I thought as a group we could pool funds and together get the families what they need. There are currently close to 300 active members on the group from the US and Israel, and to date we have raised over 1.6 million shekels and have helped dozens of families all over Israel. The goal is to help families as quickly as possible without the red tape associated with larger organizations.

While I started the group on a small scale back in 2017, it really wasn’t until the next year that I began to give it my full focus. That year a friend of mine passed away after battling cancer. I went to his levayah and as a Kohein I had to stay outside, which usually means I don’t pay close attention to the hespedim. This one was different. Ephrayim was larger than life, as a spouse, a father, a business partner, and as a human being. I went home that afternoon and told my wife that when I die, I want such a hesped — I want to live the life of a person deserving of such a hesped. I looked at the small WhatsApp group I had started as my opportunity to tip the scales in Shamayim in my favor.

While I run the group, I attribute its success to the group participants. Sometimes though, I receive inspiring feedback such as “You are the one who makes it all possible,” or “Kol hakavod to you.” I often receive messages like that, and at those moments I’m reminded of the responsibility I have to the group. While I offer the members the opportunity to do a mitzvah, they’re thankful to me for providing them with the opportunity. This gives me the chizuk to continue looking for new opportunities and further help struggling families in Israel.

What sets apart the group from other large tzedakah organizations is the personal connection the members feel toward the struggling families we raise money for. They are not donating to an organization with salaried employees, never sure exactly where their donations are going. When they donate, it could be for the family up the street who has no food for Shabbos, the yesomah who is getting married and has no money to pay for the wedding, or a bar mitzvah boy who needs tefillin. (Each time the boy puts on tefillin, those who helped fund them have a share in the mitzvah.)

I don’t call the money we raise fundraising. I call it raising capital. Just like one would raise money for an IPO where investors need to get in early, so to on the group. Donors need to place their donations quickly, as members are so eager to help these family that the funds are often raised and campaigns closed within minutes. I look at each campaign as a separate deal and raise funds accordingly, keeping each campaign straightforward and discreet.

A few months ago, someone called to ask me to help raise money for a friend’s wedding. I asked her why she was coming to me and not going through her own channels. She told me, “I’m not a schnorrer.” I responded, “So I should be the schnorrer?” Actually, I had a lot of cases in my pipeline just then, so I encouraged her to raise money on her own. I helped her write a note to her friends and family describing the need for funds. I also provided her with the donation links I use for donations. And I gave her an easy-to-use spreadsheet to track any donations she had coming in. Her goal was to raise 15,000 shekels. Within two weeks she raised over 20,000 shekels. I share this to inspire others to take the initiative when they see their friends or neighbors in need.

7 of 9 If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk that would be watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

I’m passionate about a lot of things in life — my family, my health, my friends, my business — but it all boils down to one thing. Hashem. I have had failures in my life. I have had successes, both in the spiritual world and in the gashmiyus world. As I get older, I realize emunah and bitachon are two key components in happiness and leading a meaningful life. As Sholom Mordechai Rubashkin said, “Alef Beis Gimmel” — Emunah and Bitachon bring the Geulah. What is geulah? It can mean something different for each one of us. For some it can mean getting a job, for others it can mean just having money to buy food for Shabbos. If I’ve learned one lesson in this life, it’s that one will never have the geulah they are yearning for without having emunah and bitachon that Hashem alone holds the key to it — and that we trust that He has our best interests in mind.

8 of 9 Can you share a time when you had to navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

My deepest value is being real and truthful to myself and those around me. They say you can take the boy out of Brooklyn but you can’t take Brooklyn out of the boy. To me Brooklyn people are real. In the real estate industry, whether I’m sitting with an investor or showing a buyer a home in Israel, it’s so easy to leave out some details — the roof has a leak, the bathroom has mold. When I deal with clients, I tell them like it is. No sugarcoating. I have lost deals because of this, but I would rather lose the deal then walk away knowing I was not completely transparent.

9 of 9 If you were advising a young man/woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “do’s” and “don’ts” would you share? 

This is a loaded question, because each budding entrepreneur is different. And just as I guide each of my children a different way, I would do the same for an entrepreneur. There are, however, a few core values I’ve stuck to over the years that I believe have helped me get to where I am today. The first is to know why you’re doing what you’re doing. It could be to support your family. It could be to reach a certain level in your bank account. It could be just to prove your third-grade teacher wrong. All these reasons are valid, but know them and write them down as a daily reminder. The second would be to never compromise on your core values. Deep down, each person knows right from wrong. The question is, when you’re faced with a challenge that forces you to choose between your core value and making an extra buck, which one will you choose? Your values may change over the years — hopefully in a positive trajectory — so a good idea is to write these down and evaluate them once in a while to make sure you’re sticking to them. And lastly, I would recommend you do as much market research as you can and get to know as many people as you can in your desired industry before diving in.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 893)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Donny Fein first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Debra Kodish, executive vice president at MEOR and founder at Keshet Capital

What: In 2014, after nearly three decades in the world of banking and finance, Debra switched gears to lead MEOR, a nonprofit organization dedicated to inspiring, educating, and empowering Jewish students at top universities across the United States. MEOR’s goal is to engage this new generation in the discovery of their own heritage and identity, encouraging them to connect with Judaism, and empowering them to actively engage with the Jewish community. 

Prior to MEOR, Debra worked in the Israeli capital markets, banking sector, and private equity markets — all driven by her passion for bringing investment to Israel. Debra has been involved in raising over $1 billion for public markets in Israel and north of $250 million in the private sector for major Israeli venture capital funds and early-stage companies, and has advised numerous Israeli start-up companies and foreign investors. 

Debra earned a bachelor of accounting from George Washington University in 1990, a CPA certification in the US in 1992 and her license with the SEC of Israel in 1996. In 2000 she founded Keshet Capital, an investment banking advisory firm, in which she is still involved.

Where: Debra was born and raised in Philadelphia, PA. She made aliyah in 1994 and has been living with her husband and four children in the Gush Etzion town of Neve Daniel for the past 16 years.

Why: When I met Debra at a speaking event for MEOR, I was captivated by her story. She possesses stellar business credentials, helped build an investment bank, was one of the pioneers at the onset of Israel becoming the “Startup Nation,” yet seven years ago opted to devote the bulk of her professional life to the world of outreach, transforming MEOR into a powerhouse organization. I wanted to hear more of Debra’s personal story, how she came to blend her business experience with her passion for kiruv, and how, given her demanding schedule, she manages to remain balanced and happy. 

What opportunities or personalities played a role in your career?

My parents were the first to teach me about business, entrepreneurship, accounting, and working hard. My father encouraged me to establish a strong foundation from which I could do anything, and accounting and finance turned out to be that foundation.

Secondly, I gained valuable experience working as a CPA for a few years before I made aliyah. Upon my arrival to Israel, I was fortunate to get immediate exposure to the banking and finance sectors, spending a year with the finance division of Bank Leumi. It also helped me improve my Hebrew, especially the business jargon. The pivotal moment was an opportunity to join a promising start-up and help build an investment bank in Tel Aviv that grew from just five of us to 120 employees when it went public in 1998. This was a time when bringing foreign investment to Israel was practically nonexistent. So being, as the saying goes, a big fish in a (very) small pond granted me access to a number of Israel’s leading businesspeople, entrepreneurs, innovators, and companies. 

As a new immigrant in my twenties, I participated regularly in meetings with the presidents and CEOs of TEVA, Bank Hapoalim, Bank Leumi, and Bank Mizrahi-Tefahot, Supersol, Bezeq, and Africa Israel. At the same time, I was meeting with the heads of Morgan Stanley, UBS, Invesco, T. Rowe Price, and more — major global investors who were intrigued but unfamiliar with the story of modern Israel, with its energy, innovative capacity, and potential. So unfamiliar were some that they didn’t know where Israel was on the map, so we would actually bring maps with us to the meetings. In a way we were doubling as ambassadors to the managers of these emerging market funds, enlightening them to the beauty and history of Israel.

The most important person in my journey has been my husband, who I met three weeks after arriving in Israel. We were not religious then, but we were both raised Conservative/traditional so the leap wasn’t so foreign to us — and in fact, I was on a personal journey since high school. I found a class in Tel Aviv called “The Torah’s View of Money” by Rabbi Dr. Shalom Srebrenik, a well-known Arachim lecturer. It was amazing for me to realize the Torah actually had a view on money, and if it did, I wanted to understand the Torah’s views on many other subjects relevant to my life. This triggered a desire for more classes, and my husband-to-be joined me on the journey. He always encouraged and motivated me to continue building my career while raising our family and has been an incredible partner. People often ask me how I do what I do and my reply is always the same — having a strong partner by my side while staying true to my core values is the secret.

The next opportunity came when I was introduced to MEOR founders Tom Steinberg (who became my close mentor and friend), together with the brilliant and charismatic Rabbi Beryl Gershenfeld. Their vision was to build an organization working to educate, empower, and inspire Jewish university students across the United States. This very much resonated with me, because back when I was a student, I was eager to learn and understand more about my Jewish identity and plot the course for a life that included sustained personal growth. I grappled with the role that spirituality would play in my life long term, what values I would hold dear, and what kind of family I would want to raise. Unfortunately, there weren’t many answers to be found on campus, and it took me years of exploration to find the clarity I was searching for. 

Initially I served MEOR as an advisor and consultant, assisting in the creation of systems and infrastructure as well as strategies to fortify donor relationships. MEOR possessed an energy that I found exciting — much like the start-ups and venture capital funds. The drive and dedication of the organization’s founders was inspirational… and contagious, so much so that my volunteer consulting gig ultimately turned into an invitation to join MEOR full-time, which I enthusiastically accepted.

The post Work/Life Solutions with Debra Kodish first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Yaakov Zar, founder and CEO of Lev, one of the nation’s fastest-growing commercial mortgage brokerages.

What: New York–based Lev helps commercial real estate owners and investors get the best financing for their properties by supercharging the industry’s leading capital markets advisors with machine learning and artificial intelligence tools. They automate workflows online and gather hundreds of millions of data points into machine-learning software to ensure financing accuracy. They just raised $30 million from top investors, giving the company a $130 million valuation.

Prior to starting Lev, Yaakov was a co-founder and chief of strategy at Dispatch, a workforce management platform for enterprise home service businesses, where he led product and sales to large accounts nationwide. In 2018, Vista Equity Partners acquired Dispatch.

Where: Yaakov grew up in Great Neck, New York, graduated from Boston University in 2012 with a focus in entrepreneurship, and lives with his wife and daughter in New York’s Lower East Side.

Why: There’s always exciting news in the venture capital world, with all kinds of start-ups raising tons of money to bring their dreams to reality. But when I read the news about Lev’s newest investment, my interest was especially piqued. It wasn’t just because they raised $30 million from top investors, or that they’re valued at a whopping $130 million just two years from inception; rather, it was the fact that the founder and CEO was a frum-looking guy with a beard... I had to learn more! I then reached out to a friend who had invested in Lev, and when he had the greatest things to say about Yaakov, I knew this would be a great Mishpacha interview!

It turns out that Yaakov and his wife Dassi serve as shluchim at Chabad House Bowery, and they’re actively involved with college campus kiruv at NYU and nearby universities. (How do they have time for that?) And as I learned more about him and his story, I was absolutely blown away by his emunah, humility, and positive outlook on the world. (I was actually brought to tears during the interview!) Meet Yaakov Zar.

What opportunities or personalities played a role in your career?

There are a few important personalities who play or have played significant roles in my career.

My business partner, Avi, has shown me what it takes to be a focused, dedicated, and hardworking businessperson while maintaining a truly Torah lifestyle. He taught me the importance of a stellar reputation and always doing the right thing, which has paid infinite dividends so far in my career.

Chassidus in general, the Lubavitcher Rebbe specifically, and his many shluchim, have served as a guiding light in everything I do. Most questions in day-to-day life can be answered through the guidance of Torah — we just need to know where to look. When I am in doubt about something relating to business strategy, management, or many other topics, I always look to chassidus to draw parallels from the unique and ultimate source of truth into everyday actions and decisions. I can’t say yet that I am operating in a way that is completely aligned with the Rebbe’s guidance, but I try to get closer each and every day. Also, the dedication, grit, focus, and humility of shluchim worldwide, and specifically Rabbi Shmuel Posner in Boston, who is my mashpia, provides an unparalleled inspiration to act that way in everything that I do, business-related or otherwise.

Of course, my parents and family are the core source of my education and so much that I do in my life and work. My parents taught me about hard work, professionalism, focus and humility. They dedicated their lives to making my siblings and my life as special as possible, and I am inspired by them to continue doing so to my own children, im yirtzeh Hashem. My wife and daughter are and have been so patient and supportive of my work and the difficulty of it, and their love and strength gives me the foundation and flexibility to wake up everyday energized and ready to go. This is a huge understatement, but I’ll leave it at that — as they say, “Hameivin yavin.”

What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

Baruch Hashem, after being married for a long time, we have a daughter who just turned one. She is the source of all happiness for my wife and me, and there is no fun these days without her.

As I mentioned above, I think that it is important to keep things in perspective in our day-to-day lives. Through working individually on the point described above with regards to our responsibility to create the garments for Hashem’s blessings, we should come to realize that the extra work we do doesn’t provide additional blessing. It’s comparable to wearing clothes: If you go shopping, pants that are size medium are the same price as extra large pants. Does it make sense to buy XL pants if you’re size medium? You get more clothing for the same price, so isn’t that better?! Obviously not. You’ll trip and fall. The Tzemach Tzedek uses a similar analogy for the work that we do. We need to do the right amount and rely on Hashem to provide his blessing.

The right amount is different for each person. Some people might have to put in more hours than others to accomplish the same thing. That’s fine. The key is making sure that the work stays separate from you and who you are, and that your highest capabilities and investment of self are put into serving Hashem. Dovid Hamelech says in Tehillim, “Yegia kapecha, ki tochal, ashrecha v’tov lach.ְ” Specifically, it is the “fruits of your hands,” which are your external capabilities. Though in today’s day and age we need to use our minds for most of our work, the blessings come from us keeping the most essential and powerful parts of our “hearts and minds” for serving Hashem and using our “hands” to draw down Hashem’s blessing.

What was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

I pretty much fail at several things everyday. Maybe less so on Shabbos!

I think it’s important to try to do things and to work hard at them, but also maintain the knowledge that we can’t do everything, and we definitely can’t be great at everything.

It is hard to live life without failing, and our perspective of it is what matters. If we are constantly learning, failure doesn’t hurt very much, and it is incredible to see how much we can learn if we try. Very often, I encourage those I work with to look back a year, six months, or even a month, and think about how different they were as a person. We should all be able to look back a month, or ideally even to yesterday, and think, “Wow, what was I doing? I knew so little and I’ve learned so much since then.” That is a special way to live. That is teshuvah at the highest level.

What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

I would invest more time and energy in the needs of our communities.

My wife and I help run Chabad House Bowery with the Korn family. We serve students at NYU and nearby universities, as well as an incredible community of young professionals living in downtown New York City. The most amazing thing is being part of a community of engaged and young neshamos, each of whom are unbelievably unique and special, and who are so genuine in their desire to be better and do better. It serves as an inspiration to us every single day. Though Covid significantly affected the number of people we’ve engaged with for the past year and a half, we are excited that the community has bounced back and is now even bigger than it was before, and I believe there’s a lot we can do to make it even stronger still. Any “extra” time or resources we have go to helping make that happen.

In addition, I am passionate about helping couples have children. Having spent a long time waiting for Hashem to provide us with this blessing, my wife and I have learned a lot about what goes into the fertility process, as well as the halachic guidelines around many of these treatments. As science enables more people to have more options in building and growing their families, it is important to provide easy and affordable opportunities for those who need them, as well as providing the knowledge and education about what is needed to handle these processes in accordance with Torah law.

Can you share a time when you had to navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

When I first graduated from Boston University, I was working on a business I had started while I was in school. I didn’t know much about what I was doing, but I wanted to raise some money from investors and had a ton of meetings. It didn’t work out, and I couldn’t raise much money. It was probably due to the fact that I didn’t know what I was doing!

At the time, I had recently gotten much deeper into my spiritual journey, and decided that it was important to me to have a beard. The problem was, my genetics didn’t really keep up! I stopped shaving, but I just ended up with a very awkward amount of facial hair.

Being that my business didn’t work out, I started to look for a job. I was very surprised, because I thought of myself as a pretty skilled person, but I couldn’t get even the most entry-level jobs. It was a very humbling and painful experience. My parents were convinced that my “messy” look was a big factor in that, and I felt very stuck, trapped, and confused.

Shortly after, I met with someone about a business he was starting to think about. We had a lot of conversations that were going well, but before a meeting he had arranged with an investor, he said, “Well, you’ve got to shave before the meeting. And tuck in your tzitzit!” I was shocked and confused. I had no intention of doing either of those, and I had proven my value through the work we were doing together. I told him that I wouldn’t do that, and his response was simply, “That’s fine, but you won’t be coming to many meetings, then.”

It was a confusing and difficult time, but it was clearly Hashem working His magic. If I had been successful in getting a job right after school, I would not have had the incredible opportunities to start Dispatch, and later start Lev. We see such a small part of life, and we sometimes forget that Hashem is running every detail. I also quickly continued to prove my value to my colleague, and not only was I invited to many more meetings, but I served as a primary interface with clients and external partners. There is no reason for spirituality and business to conflict — we just need to maintain an awareness of the Master of the World when we are engaging in work.

Since having our daughter, I’ve learned so much about our relationship with Hashem. For example, when my daughter started eating food, she would hold on to the spoon and get frustrated when the food on the spoon was finished. When we took the spoon to put another scoop of food on it, she’d yell as if we were taking her food away! She didn’t yet have the awareness that the spoon is just the vessel to bring the food to her mouth — it is not the source of food! She doesn’t see that taking away the spoon is necessary to provide more food. We need to maintain the trust in Hashem that just as He’s always filled our spoon and given it back, even after taking it away sometimes, He will continue to do so. The frustration just delays the process and pains us without benefit.

We  should all be able to look back a month, or ideally even to yesterday, and think, “Wow, what was I doing? I knew so little and I’ve learned so much since then.”

If you were advising a young man or woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “do’s” and “don’ts” would you share?

In my opinion, the most important thing in starting a business is to understand what you are working on and why. Though this seems obvious, it can sometimes be confusing, and I think many people fail to truly dive deep into why they are working on something.

Starting a business means you are going to dedicate the vast majority of your waking hours each day to this effort. That’s a lot of work. There’s nothing else that we decide and dedicate ourselves to at that scale, other than our marriage.

I think that the understanding of “why” you’re working on something also includes knowing your purpose beyond the goal of the business. With this, I mean that as important as the specific mission you are working on is and should be to you, it is still nothing in relation to your actual purpose and being as a person. You have the opportunity to do mitzvot and influence others positively. Each of us has a unique capability to create tremendous physical and — more importantly — spiritual value in the world, and we need to keep our awareness of that throughout everything we do. Hashem created us and bestowed upon us a G-dly soul and put a cheilek Eloka mimaal mamash within us, giving us the capability to do unbelievable things. It’s our responsibility to uphold our end, and we need to work hard everyday to get there.

One of the most unique and powerful aspects of starting a business is that your identity as the founder or owner of the business becomes one with the company itself. This factor can empower us to do incredible things, or, G-d forbid, it can be extremely painful and dangerous for mental health. As you are working on your business, interacting with clients and hiring, it is important to keep in mind that you are building a brand for your company and yourself as an individual, and the reputation that your business has and will have is a reflection and extension of your own reputation.

Our spouses, children, and families become tied to that brand, so I work hard to make sure that whatever I do in the workplace is something I would be proud of having associated with my daughter. This is hard. It means maintaining a very high quality standard, working very hard, being honest, being kind (sometimes “more kind than necessary”).

We live in this physical world, where compromise is inherent to galus. We strive for perfection and are pained by the difficulty in accomplishing it, but it’s an avodah and we need to engage in it.

At the same time, we know that the blessings for parnassah come from Hashem. We know that each Rosh Hashanah, it’s determined how much we will make that year. Our responsibility is to create the levushim to enable the brachot to come down into this world. We want to simply provide the covering so that Hashem doesn’t have to create miracles for us to receive our incredible blessings.

There’s a story of the Baal Shem Tov: He walked up to a house and knocked on the window. Before anyone acknowledged his arrival, he simply said to the closed window that he needed money for a certain reason, then walked away. Shortly thereafter, someone ran out of the house and asked the Baal Shem Tov how much he needed and gave it to him.

An observer later asked the Baal Shem Tov, “Why did you walk away after knocking and not wait for the person to come to the door? And if you knew that Hashem would provide you with this blessing, why even knock at all?”

The Baal Shem Tov’s response was that Hashem tells us “U’veirachecha Hashem Elokecha b’chol asher taaseh — And Hashem blesses you in all that you do.”

It is specifically due to the “taaseh,” the work that we do that provides the blessing. This is the most important thing for us to realize every single day, but it gets harder and harder as your business grows. People start to think that a certain decision was a great decision, and this call they made was the perfect move, and some strategy they came up with was genius. It’s not. Hashem makes things happen. We do our part, and Hashem decides how it turns out. That is the most important thing for us to realize.

Moe Mernick runs business development at a high-growth tech company, gives a daily daf yomi shiur, and produces short, inspiring videos on each daf (available on TorahAnytime and AllDaf). He holds an MBA and semichah, wrote a book about growing through challenges (The Gift of Stuttering), and lives in Ramat Beit Shemesh with his wife and children.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 885)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Yaakov Zar first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Jeff Weinberg, co-founding partner of Meridian Capital Group and author of the newly released sefer, Faith at Work (Mosaica Press, 2021)

What: Founded in 1991, Meridian Capital Group is America’s most active dealmaker and one of the nation’s leading commercial real estate finance, investment sales, and retail leasing advisors. Jeff is also a board member of SoftWorks AI, a start-up software company that automates document-driven workflows with artificial intelligence and machine learning.

Where: Jeff grew up in Brooklyn and currently lives with his family in Woodmere, New York.

Why: I can usually write these introductions pretty quickly. But for Jeff, I’m having a difficult time encapsulating all of my thoughts and emotions into a couple sentences. Why? Because Jeff is the living embodiment of this 5 to 9 column, synthesizing every facet of his impressive career with his avodas Hashem.

From his rigorous learning, to his multifaceted community involvement, to his unparalleled humility, I am beyond inspired by Jeff and feel privileged to share his story and insights with you. But to fully absorb all his thought-provoking and inspiring ideas, please pick up a copy of his new book, Faith at Work. Based on the weekly parshah and infused with stories from the workplace, the book unpacks the ideas condensed from this interview and will surely help all of us create more meaningful, uplifting experiences in our professional lives.

2 of 9: Which three character traits have played a key role in your success?

What’s success? It’s important that we redefine the world conception of success and what it should mean to a Jew. Success is never about “making it” to the top. Regardless of what socio-economic ladder we are trying to climb, we are successful when we use the time we have productively. It’s crucial that we understand this, because most of our struggles at work come from our need to succeed.

I once heard Rabbi Wachsman say that our mood shouldn’t rise and fall with the stock market. The trait of maintaining equilibrium, or menuchas hanefesh, as we call it, is a lifesaving tool. I’m in the mortgage brokerage business, and there is a never-ending flood of emotions that can overtake me in such a competitive and demanding market. On a spiritual level, I work to balance the dictates of instincts. The existence of competing drives, conflicts, and inconsistencies leads to the need to restore equilibrium to become truly productive. Knowing that I am doing the best I can with the time I have, and knowing that Hashem ultimately controls each situation, it makes menuchas hanefesh an easier goal to achieve.

My friend Rabbi Yirmi Ginsburg pointed out to me that the gematria of parnassah and neshamah are the same, 395. There is a deep connection between our job and our soul. We should be able to utilize our G-d-given gifts on the job and by doing so, there will be sippuk hanefesh. I am a people person, by nature. I enjoy connecting with others, putting people at ease, and finding commonalities. I am constantly meeting clients and lenders, and many deals come to fruition because of the chemistry and energy that exist between all those working together.

Can we call emunah a character trait? Without it, there is absolutely no success on any level, and with it, there is success on every level. I have witnessed so many incidents where faith in Hashem brought financial success. One such time I recall early in my career was when one of our brokers contacted and set up a meeting with a very large real estate owner, who told us of a current offer that he got to finance one of his buildings. After speaking with that client, Ralph Herzka, the CEO of Meridian, advised the client to take it, as that was a great deal that we couldn’t beat. The potential client was so impressed with the honesty that he ended up doing a lot of business with us later. Knowing that it is ultimately all up to Hashem is the greatest conduit of brachah.

4 of 9: What would you say was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

Being that Mishpacha magazine has a very large readership, and that my Hungarian mother can’t imagine that I could fail at anything, I will be a bit more general. Through my many years working in the mortgage brokerage business, but more specifically the first few years, I occasionally lost my temper.

I specifically recall yelling at a client on the phone because he cut me out of the deal and behind my back contacted the bank, after my introductions. I was (understandably) upset after I had spent a considerable amount of time and energy on this project. I was worked up, angry, and said things that I regret. My initial reactions of anger were strong, but even stronger were the feelings of frustration and pain that I felt after. Why was I losing it? Where was my self-control and my belief in Hashem? With the shiur that I listened to on my drive to work still reverberating in my head, how could I so easily lose my cool?

Because of these reactions, I began writing and collecting divrei Torah that specifically related to our avodah at “avodah,” putting true work into work. With these inspiring thoughts at the forefront of my mind, it made it easier to remember my true tachlis and made me ever so cognizant of Hashem’s hand in our work. Eventually, I compiled these divrei Torah into a sefer so that perhaps others could find inspiration as well.

5 of 9:  If you were granted an extra three hours per day, or a spare million dollars, what would you do with them?

Would the million dollars be before taxes or after taxes? Either way, I would take the three hours and divide it evenly between learning with my chavrusa and spending more quality time with my family. These are the two areas of my life that no matter how much time I have, I want more. I am zocheh to have a morning chavrusa with my friend Reb Simchie for many years (may we continue until 120) and it sets the tone for the day ahead. I also feel blessed that Meridian provides a daf yomi shiur at lunch break and my rav, Rav Moshe Weinberger, gives a weekly shiur at the office as well.

Even so, at the end of the day, the hours we spend at work are usually much more than the few precious hours or sometime minutes that we spend doing what we love. Rav Weinberger shared a beautiful insight that gave me tremendous chizuk in this area. In the story of Chanukah, we are familiar with the term rabim b’yad me’atim — the few Chashmonaim were able to overpower the many Yevanim. This means that a little kedushah, i.e., what is truly choshuv to us, can overpower the mundane — even that which takes up much more of our time! The few hours that we have for our learning can win over the many hours that we spend behind an office desk.

It’s about the quality of our time more than the quantity. (Although if you offer me more hours for learning, I will grab them!) The question we always need to ask ourselves is what is most choshuv to us? We are where our hearts and minds are.

7 of 9: If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

For those of us who have been working for a long time, and for those who are starting out in their careers, there is an important message I would share. Many think that once we leave the shul or beis medrash in the morning, our connection with Hashem is interrupted or put on hold until we get back home or until we daven Minchah. Nothing could be further from the truth! We have an amazing achrayus and zechus to be able to serve Hashem all day long — whether at our desks, behind our computers, on the phone, or face-to-face with our customers or clients.

A story about the Megaleh Amukos bears this point out.

The Megaleh Amukos ztz”l let the people of Krakow know that he no longer wanted to be their rav, but he didn’t tell them the reason. Despite their many pleas that he change his mind and stay with them, he remained firm in his decision. With heavy hearts, the community prepared a seudas preidah — a goodbye party for the Megaleh Amukos.

At the celebration, the Megaleh Amukos announced that he would continue serving as the rav of Krakow. The community was shocked and overjoyed simultaneously, but they wanted to know (a) why he initially wanted to leave, and (b) what caused his change of heart to remain with the kehillah?

The Megaleh Amukos said, “I still won’t tell you why I wanted to leave, but I will tell you why I decided to stay: A very unusual din Torah came to me.” He related the tale.

A wealthy person saw a pauper selling bread and bagels on the sidewalk, and he said to him, “I recognize you from years back! You’re a great talmid chacham! It isn’t fitting for you to sell bread on the sidewalk. I will give you as much as you need to live each month so you can learn Torah all day long in the beis medrash.”

The pauper agreed to the generous offer. Some time passed, and the wealthy person found the pauper again on the street selling bread and bagels.

“We have an agreement,” the wealthy man said. “Why are you here?”

The pauper answered that he and his wife decided to go back to their previous lifestyle, earning their living by selling bread on the street corners.

“But why? Isn’t it better to earn your parnassah easily so that you can learn Torah? And besides, you can’t back down from an agreement without my consent,” the wealthy man added. “We had an agreement, and a deal is a deal!”

They decided to ask the Megaleh Amukos, who asked the pauper, “Why don’t you agree to this arrangement?”

The pauper replied, “Before I received this generous stipend, my wife and I would wake up in the morning and immediately turn to Hashem, pleading that He help us earn a living. When we ground the wheat kernels, we prayed that the bread would be white and clean. When we kneaded the dough, we prayed that it should rise well. We also prayed that I should find dry logs to heat the oven (as fresh wood smokes and ruins the bread). We prayed that the bread should bake well, that people should buy it from us, and that they should be satisfied with their purchases so that they will buy from us again. When things went the way we wished, we praised Hashem for His kindness.

“From the beginning of the day until the end, we were constantly communicating and connecting to Hashem. But all of this stopped abruptly when we began receiving a monthly stipend. We weren’t turning to Hashem anymore, because we knew that we would have everything we need. My wife and I decided that we don’t want to live that way. We prefer going back to our old lifestyle, because then Hashem will always be on our mind and in our prayers.”

The Megaleh Amukos then said to the community, “After this din Torah, I decided that I wanted to remain here, in this city, to be among such Yidden!”

As we see from this story, our work can become avodas Hashem. The Baal Shem Tov says that one who works in this fashion is being oseik baTorah — involved in Torah, for not only is he learning it, but he is practicing it as well. Through our emunah that Hashem fills every part of this world, from the holiest to the most mundane, we reveal the sparks of holiness that can be found in every time and place.

As we finish the Chamishah Chumshei Torah, we celebrate Simchas Torah. On this day of rejoicing, we take the Torah out and dance with it. We don’t open the Torah (for a majority of the time). We hold it, hug it, and kiss it. There are times that it can appear as though the Torah is closed, but it is wide open. This message is especially relevant during our times.

There is baruch Hashem a popular custom for girls to marry boys learning in kollel. As families grow and the financial needs are more demanding, oftentimes the kollel boy begins searching for parnassah. His wife should strengthen him with this understanding so that he doesn’t chas v’shalom feel like a failure, a second-class citizen, or unworthy of her praise and admiration.

8 of 9: How do you navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

I honestly can’t think of a time that I didn’t have to. From the moment I arrive at the office until the moment I walk out, I am faced with the challenge of either retaining my core identity as a baal emunah or allowing myself to indulge in the assumption that my ego, my intellect, or my efforts are what lead to the deal. In my line of work, there is a commonly used phrase, “he brokered me,” which means that by stretching the truth or luring me in with manipulative tactics, the broker got me to sign with him.

There exists a high level of pressure and competition. With every conversation I have, I can choose to remain true to my values as a Jew and deal with honesty and integrity, or leave my emunah and middos in the glove compartment of my parked car. We navigate tensions by bringing who we are to work — proud and unapologetic ovdei Hashem.

Once, after a beautiful and uplifting Yamim Noraim at Aish Kodesh, days filled with such pure kedushah, elevated singing and dancing, I had to be at a meeting with board members of a co-op building. Literally a few hours after experiencing the climax of spirituality, I was expected to sit in the basement of a building, with the sounds of the laundry machine in the background and the smell of musty chair cushions, talking about such mundane money matters.

I asked my rav, “How do I go to work now after such an uplifting time?”

He responded, “Take the Belt Parkway!”

And there, in that dark basement, surrounded by strangers and half-empty Styrofoam cups, I found Hashem! My rav was telling me that we don’t run away from our daily obligations after experiencing a spiritual climax; we bring it along with us. “Baruch kevod Hashem mimkomo.” From our makom, wherever it may be, we can bless and honor Hashem.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 881)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Jeff Weinberg first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Josh Aryeh, founder and CEO at Lions View Development. He’s also the founder of the nonprofit Smiles Through Cars, where he dresses up as Batman, rides a Lamborghini-turned-Batmobile, and visits sick and underprivileged children in hospitals, outpatient centers, and in their homes to cheer them up.

What: I don’t know how Josh does it — on the one hand, he runs a real estate investment company that raised $350 million in the last few years. And on the other hand, he spends most of his time building his chesed empire. How does he juggle them both? He explained to me that he began his own company in order to create a flexible work schedule, freeing him up to work out of his car in between hospital visits.

Where: While Josh resides in Lawrence, New York, he can often be found speeding around the Tristate area giving toys and exotic car rides to sick and underprivileged children, putting huge smiles on their faces.

Why: Josh, 34, is a hero to countless people. He’s already delivered over 30,000 toys, has been honored by Project Extreme and the One Israel Fund, leverages his “Batman Real Account” on Instagram to inspire his 150,000 followers to do good for others, and aims to impact the lives of a million people with his team of volunteers. But what touched me most was how his personal  struggles empowered him. He was bullied throughout his childhood, and his younger sister became sick and passed away at age 18. He decided to learn from his dark moments to become a light for others.

1. What opportunities or personalities played a key role in your career path?

Throughout our lives, we have endless opportunities, yet it’s our mindset and outlook in life that enable us to either see them or deny them. Years ago, I embraced a gam zu l’tovah mindset, that no matter what happens, it is for the best. I believe this was a big contributor to my success. No matter how big the setback, I always knew it was part of the journey and that enabled me to grow with each experience.

I started off thinking I was going to become a special-ed teacher, since I spent my high school years volunteering weekly for various special-ed programs. When I was in college, a cousin offered me a job in his Manhattan-based real estate company. At first, it wasn’t something I enjoyed much, since my passion was to help others, but as time went on, my knowledge and love for real estate grew — plus, I realized that working in the real estate industry would give me the flexibility to make more money while spending time volunteering as well. I was able to visit children and then go to my car for a Zoom or conference call.

In March 2020, with the pandemic, real estate development came to a grinding halt, and lenders and investors began asking for their money back. My volunteer life was also affected, since my team and I weren’t able to visit children in hospitals anymore. Nevertheless, I tried to maintain a positive outlook, using the time to expand my existing skill set, and also to learn about other businesses. I also shifted focus at the charity, moving from in-person visits to socially distanced drive-by visits. Between March and July of 2020, my team and I did more than 600 drive-by visits for children and adults battling various illnesses. Bottom line — it’s important to maintain a positive attitude and to also be ready, willing, and able to pivot from the techniques which may have worked in the past.

As one of my cousins was a member of an exotic car club, I grew up with an interest in exotic cars. He’d bring home a different car almost every week, and while in the beginning I was only allowed to go for rides, once I got older, I could drive them too. Soon I developed a reputation for driving high-end cars, and occasionally I’d get calls asking if I could drive a sick child. One day, I received a call asking if I could give a ride to an eight-year-old girl who had cancer — and always dreamed of riding in a Lamborghini. Luckily that week I had a yellow Lamborghini Gallardo convertible. I coordinated the surprise with the family to meet the girl at her house in between chemo treatments.

I was sitting in front of the house when I saw a little girl being brought out in a wheelchair. She didn’t look too happy, but the minute she saw the bright yellow Lambo in front of her house, her entire face lit up with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen. She got into the car and I drove her around for 30 minutes. The top was down, music was blasting, and her smile remained on her face the entire time. As soon as she was wheeled back into her house, the mother started crying. I thought maybe I said or did something offensive, since it was my first time giving a ride to a sick child, but she said, “No, you don’t understand why I’m crying. My daughter was diagnosed with cancer at the age of four. She’s had more than 20 surgeries, she had to be quarantined, she had a bad infection that left her paralyzed. This is the first time I’ve seen my daughter smile since she was diagnosed four years ago.”

I realized that if I could have such a positive impact on a child during a time of despair by doing something so simple, I wanted to do whatever I could to make it happen more often. For about seven years, I continued visiting sick kids and giving them rides in the various exotic cars. One day, I heard someone in Maryland named Lenny Robinson, who would dress up as Batman and use his convertible Lamborghini to visit sick kids. I thought that was pretty amazing, since I never heard about anyone else using their exotic car to help sick kids. A few years after that, I heard unfortunate news that Lenny was on the highway and was killed by a car that didn’t see him. I never had the privilege to meet Lenny but I wanted to continue his legacy and visit the sick kids as Batman. I sent my car to Impressive Auto Body in Oceanside, New York, to have my car transformed into a “Batmobile.” I teamed up with the NYPD, the Nassau County Police, and other  agencies to make the experience even better for the kids. Since then, I’ve had the privilege to volunteer to visit more than 25,000 children to keep Lenny Robinson’s memory alive.

2. Which three character traits have played a key role in your career path?

Optimism. No matter what happens in life, you need to embrace it and understand that it’s for the best. We may not be able to control the cards we are dealt in this Game of Life, but we can control how we choose to play those cards. Are we going to remain victims of our past or survivors who will yet thrive?

I remember hearing a story about a rav who would give a shiur a few times per week. One day on the way to the shiur he got into a horrific accident. On the way to the hospital in the back of the ambulance the rav asked, “Why did this happen to me? I was on the way to give a shiur and now I’m in an ambulance on the way to the hospital!”

Due to the severity of the accident, the hospital had to do a full-body inspection. There were no internal injuries related to the accident, but the medical team did detect some abnormalities in his brain. Upon further testing they discovered a tumor that would have been inoperable had they found it even a little later.

Throughout life, we’re going to encounter unexpected situations, whether in business, relationships, or countless other situations. We need to be ready, willing, and able to maintain a positive attitude and continue pushing forward until the storm passes. It’s now August 2021, and real estate in Manhattan is still not back to normal. My team and I started doing our preliminary due diligence to look at potential income-producing properties as well as development properties in other regions. It’s scary because we’ve always focused on the East Coast, but if we implement the same core principles, I believe we can succeed in other areas as well.

Humility. I try to constantly reflect on the fact that there are always circumstances we have absolutely nothing to do with that enable us to further our successes. Those were put in place for us by Hashem, and He is ultimately responsible for our success.

I once heard a story about a multibillionaire, in one of the wealthiest Jewish families in his time. He had one final request: to be buried with his socks on. The man died, and at the funeral, the man’s children saw that their father’s socks were being taken off.

Immediately they yelled, “Stop! Don’t take off his socks! Our father’s final request was to be buried with his socks!”

The rabbi explained that it was against Jewish law and he was sorry but he had to bury their father without his socks on. The children were utterly distraught, but they had no other choice. The father was buried and all the children went back to their father’s house. Once they were all back at home, the attorney handling their father’s estate asked all the children to come into one room. Once they were all seated, the attorney read the father’s final letter. “Dear children, even someone like me, one of the wealthiest people in the world, still needs to abide by Hashem’s rules, and we are all buried the same way.”

Goal-Oriented. I set measurable goals in both the business and nonprofit worlds. This way I can assess success and failure, and I can determine what needs to be tweaked or adjusted. My team and I establish goals with different timelines — some are daily, weekly, and monthly, and some go out a year or longer. In order for us to reach our long-term goals, we establish lots of micro goals along the way. Creating and updating goals has helped both my business and my nonprofit organization succeed, and it’s also helped us get through the tough times.

4. What would you say was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

My most resounding failure occurred toward the end of my teenage years. I had multiple opportunities to network with some of the most successful people in the industries where I was aspiring to work. However, I was intimidated by them and refrained from introducing myself. As I got older (and wiser), I learned to believe in myself and to not be intimidated by others who were more successful. It’s important to keep in mind that we are all created in the image of Hashem, and we are all valued as such. Money and fame are not part of our essence — we aren’t any greater nor any less because of our economic successes or failures. Looking back now, I realize that it was foolish to be intimidated.

5. What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

If I had three extra hours a day, I would spend it visiting sick children. It’s my passion to bring a smile to the face of suffering kids, and to enable them to escape their pain even if it is only for a few minutes.

A few months ago, I received a phone call from a children’s hospital in Westchester, where they were treating a five-year-old battling stage 4 cancer with a prognosis of a few weeks to live. His final wish was to go into an exotic car, and we arranged the surprise for the following weekend outside of the hospital. The child, along with his family members and staff, came outside to attend his exotic car show. They thought that I was only bringing one car but I called some of our amazing volunteers to explain the severity of the situation — and we surprised him outside the hospital with more than 70 Lamborghinis, Ferraris, Bentleys, McLarens, Porsches, Rolls-Royces, and a few other makes. I’ve always had a passion for exotic cars, so I’m thrilled that I was able to figure out how to combine my passion to use the cars for a much greater purpose.

6. What was the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

Yaniv Sides was a member of the NYPD and a pillar in the Five Towns community. Unfortunately, in April 2020, Yaniv started having health issues. He went to the doctor and found out that he had cancer, and passed away less than a month after he was diagnosed.

A few weeks later one of his children, Liev, was turning ten. I received a phone call from Menashe Friedman of Kids for Courage at 3 p.m. to inform me that it was Liev’s birthday. The two of us made lots of phone calls to arrange a surprise birthday drive outside his house in Cedarhurst — and despite only having two hours to prepare for the event, it was absolutely priceless.

Not only did we bring a few of the exotic cars but Hatzolah, Hatzolah Air, Nassau County Police Department, Nassau County ESU, NYPD, Woodmere Fire Department, Lawrence/Cedarhurst Fire Department, Achiezer, and of course family and friends joined as well. The surprise didn’t stop here though — it was featured on Channel 12 News, Channel 7 News, and Fox News multiple times.

7. If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk that would be watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

I would talk about my own life and I would call it “From Darkness to Light.” I was bullied as a young child for many years, until the middle of high school. Toward the end of my teenage years, my sister suddenly became sick and passed away seven days later. I’ve had many other issues and struggles, but these dark moments in particular have made me more empathetic toward others who are struggling in their own lives. I believe that it’s important for us to talk about our hardships in order to help others realize that they’re not alone and that they can and will get through the tough times.

8. How do you navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

Honestly, I’ve never had to navigate any tensions between my values and the business world. Prior to becoming an entrepreneur, I made sure to always work for companies that aligned with my core beliefs. This approach enabled me to avoid difficult situations that would require me to choose between my values and my job. I know there are others who may disagree, but I would rather avoid any precarious situations rather than have to navigate them.

When I’m dressed as Batman, no one knows if I’m Jewish, so I was surprised that on one particular visit, the father asked if I’d mind visiting their child even though they’re not Jewish. At first, I was taken aback by the question, so I asked the father why he thought I’d mind. The father proceeded to tell me that they are from out of town and don’t interact with a lot of Jews. They see on the news about the conflicts with Jews in Israel and therefore he assumed that every Jew would have a confrontation with non-Jewish people. I explained to him how far this was from the truth, that as Jews we’re taught to honor all human beings, that the Jewish People are lovers of peace, and that we’re all created in the image of G-d. The father had never heard this before, and then proceeded to ask if he could give me a hug.

9. If you were advising a young man or woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “do’s” and “don’ts” would you share?

I would ask them to think about how they would choose to spent their time if money didn’t matter. Too often, people choose a career path based on how much money they believe they will earn rather than what would bring them happiness each day as they work for the next 50-plus years. And I would remind them of the obvious, because it is difficult to actually put into practice when the time comes: Although you may have worked hard, and you may be a very talented or experienced individual, at the end of the day, you must acknowledge that your success comes from Hashem. As quickly as you may have found success, it can disappear even faster. This will keep you humble in all your dealings.

Moe Mernick runs business development at a high-growth tech company, gives a daily daf yomi shiur, and produces short, inspiring videos on each daf (available on TorahAnytime and AllDaf). He holds an MBA and semichah, wrote a book about growing through challenges (The Gift of Stuttering), and lives in Ramat Beit Shemesh with his wife and children.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 877)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Josh Aryeh    first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.

Who: Eli Schwartz, growth consultant, SEO (search engine optimization) expert, and author of Product-Led SEO.

What: Eli Schwartz, SEO expert and consultant (SEO, search engine optimization, is the strategic development of websites and other digital content, such as blogs, so they can be found easily by people searching for those topics via search engines like Google and Bing), has over a decade of experience driving successful growth programs for major enterprise companies. He has worked with companies like Coinbase, Match, Gusto, Blue Nile, WordPress, Zendesk, and Shutterstock in building and executing growth strategies that have created billions of dollars in revenue.

In the past, Eli led a growth team at SurveyMonkey, an online survey tool for businesses, helping it drive hundreds of millions of dollars per year. He helped launch SurveyMonkey’s first Asia-Pacific (APAC) office and oversaw international growth before and after shares went public. Prior to SurveyMonkey, he led marketing initiatives at a start-up and helped them successfully exit to one of the largest online automotive networks in the world. Eli frequently speaks at marketing events and conferences around the world, and at top universities across the US, and his work has been featured on sites ranging from TechCrunch to Forbes to Y Combinator.

Where: Along with his wife and four boys (aged one to nine), Eli currently lives in Houston, Texas. Before that, he lived in Palo Alto, California, for 14 years, with a two-year stint in Singapore during that period.

Why: A few weeks ago, I saw that Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, posted a beautiful note on social media about a guy named Eli Schwartz. Why was one of the most influential women in the world (who also happens to be Jewish) praising this guy named Eli? It happened that Eli had just published his new book in the memory of Sheryl’s late husband, Dave Goldberg, and Sheryl was publicly expressing her appreciation. That piqued my interest. So, I reached out to Rabbi Joey Felsen from Palo Alto to learn more about Eli, and then, as Eli and I spoke, I knew I wanted to share his story.

1 of 9: What opportunities or personalities played a key role in your career path?

In 2015, my wife and I decided to pursue a dream of living, working, and traveling in Asia. After an extremely long and difficult recruitment process, I received an offer to lead the APAC division of a global marketing agency based out of Singapore. With a move date just two weeks away, I went to give notice of my impending departure to my manager. At the time, I had been at SurveyMonkey for slightly over two years, and while I really loved the company, they didn’t have any Asian offices and that was where we wanted to be.

But my boss pushed back on my leaving, and told me that she was going to have the CEO try to convince me himself. I wished her well and assumed that was the end. How wrong I was.

Within 20 minutes, I was sitting across the table from Dave Goldberg, CEO of SurveyMonkey. The first thing he told me was that he was personally offended that I had a dream of moving to Asia and that I had not looped him in to give him a chance to make it happen. Until this point, I had had many interactions with Dave, but never a formal one-to-one sit-down. I thought his opening gambit was just words, but I was soon to find out that he was truly serious.

After respectfully declining his request to reconsider my decision, or at least to change my move to somewhere else in the world where SurveyMonkey had an office, I assumed the conversation was over. Later that evening, he emailed me to say that he had found a solution and he was going to send me to Singapore as I wished. Without even waiting for my response, he emailed the CEO of one of the company’s largest investors that had an office in Singapore and told him that SurveyMonkey was going to need a desk in their space.

The next morning, we met again, and he asked me to create my own job description. He then initiated a flurry of work with the legal and human resource teams to create a job and form an entirely new company in Singapore — and all because it was my personal dream. Dave partnered with me in my work and had me email him updates and set up one-to-one meetings to keep track of my success.

The interest Dave took in me — to the point of quite literally creating a dream position — completely changed the trajectory of my career. Due to his untimely passing in May 2015, I was never able to thank him for the gift he gave to me, and I feel like it’s my personal responsibility to show gratitude to him by helping others to become their best selves and achieve their dreams. Product-Led SEO, the book I recently published, is dedicated to Dave’s memory. I want everyone who reads the book to know that it never would have happened without his genuine kindness.

2 of 9: Which three character traits have played a key role in your success?

Grit. My entire life has been personified by this now-popular term, which is a combination of perseverance, passion, and optimism. My educational background had many gaps, to say the least, but my grit has helped me to overcome and succeed in ways that should never have been possible. One strategy that has often guided my grit is what I call my five-year plan. I have always tried to set goals five years into the future and drive toward those end goals, no matter what gets in the way.

Curiosity. It’s another important trait that has guided me throughout my career. I try to take every meeting that comes my way, even if on paper it seems like a waste of time. As a direct result of this curiosity, I have encountered the most fascinating opportunities and have made great friendships, met wonderful mentors, and gained a lot of business connections over time.

Strategic Thinking. I am very deliberate and strategic. When I work with my clients, I help them with tactics that guide them into a long-term strategy that makes sense for their business. When I engage with a company, I determine if it makes sense from a strategic standpoint for us to even work together and, if not, then I refer them to someone who might be a better fit. On a more casual note, I don’t believe in just winging business conversations or meetings just to see where things end up. I always take the time to prepare before a meeting to try to determine where they want things to head and how I can best help them. When I email someone requesting a meeting, I find that putting context in that email leads to a higher chance of success rather than just requesting to chat. A saying I love is that “every strategy falls to the lowest level of preparation.” Preparing before a conversation or meeting shows someone has respect for their time.

3 of 9: What do you do to relax, recharge, or simply have fun? How do you make time for that, and how often?

My absolute favorite way of relaxing and recharging is to travel somewhere that’s culturally and practically completely different from home. I have been fortunate to have gone to many fascinating places with my family and each trip provides new lessons, experiences, and perspective. It could be realizing that America, for all its challenges, does an incredible job providing for its people. Or it could be understanding business or parenting styles from those in another culture — like the time my son woke up ill in Taiwan with a Chinese-speaking babysitter who used local methods to heal him and passed that knowledge on to us, or understanding the important role that business plays in making a kiddush Hashem in publicly anti-Semitic countries like Malaysia. And sometimes, traveling reminds me about how much resilience we have — like the time my family got stuck with three small children in the now-closed Stockholm airport after we missed the connection to give a keynote at a conference in Estonia. I also love learning about Jewish communities all around the world — like the time I went to Karala, India, just to see the oldest shul outside of Israel.

4 of 9: What would you say was your most resounding failure? What did you take away from that experience?

It might be a clichéd response, but I really don’t believe in failure. There may be setbacks that at the time can be incredibly painful and disappointing, but when viewed many years later, those low points will be revealed as true gifts from Above. I have been so fortunate that I have had many occasions where I thought I had failed, and it turned out for the best years later. Two specific experiences stand out:

Many years ago, I had been working at what I thought was my dream job as a floor clerk in the New York Stock Exchange. At the time, I was very proud of the job and felt it was a part of my identity. When I was fired a few months in, I was absolutely devastated, but in hindsight I think it was the best thing that ever happened in my career. Losing that job spurred me to go to college to get an education and it also taught me an early lesson that a job is just a job — it’s not who I am and never an essential part of my identity or self-worth.

However, my favorite example of “lemons to lemonade” (what some people call “failure”) occurred after working for a few years at the same company. I was ready to move on to a new role at a different company, and I interviewed for what on paper seemed like perfect jobs for me at a few of my dream companies. After months of interviews, and in spite of the fact that I kept making it to the final rounds, I was not offered the hoped-for positions. But rather than lower my requirements for the type of job I wanted, I used this as an incentive to build my own consultancy, helping large enterprises develop new channels for acquiring customers online. Even better, five years later my largest clients are all direct referrals from the executives I met during those years of interviews. I had made enough of an impression on them that even though they couldn’t or wouldn’t hire me for full-time positions, they were willing to refer me to other leaders for consulting partnerships.

6 of 9: What is the most inspiring feedback you’ve ever received? Did that impact what you did next?

In 2017, when I had that disappointing spate of job interviews mentioned above, I was turned down for a job I really wanted and had thought I was surely going to be getting. The recruiter I was working with was very candid in the feedback about why I ultimately did not get a job offer. I used that feedback to pivot my job function and responsibility so that I would never be rejected for that reason again. Within three months, I had a completely new job title and a larger team reporting to me. Part of that feedback was that I needed to be more product-centric rather than just a marketer, and pivoting to that product-centricity even enabled me to write the book about product strategy that has sold thousands of copies to product leaders — including to the person who gave me that feedback.

7 of 9: If you were asked to deliver a TED Talk watched by 50 million people, what topic would you choose to speak about? Why?

There are so many talks given that dissect the lives of the world’s most popular business leaders and in each case, ambition is emphasized over humanity. The message is that it’s impossible to put other people first if you want to succeed. I have been the direct recipient of leaders who believe the exact opposite and I would use the TED stage to share the stories of successful leaders who were kind to their employees and the people around them, even if it would have compromised the success of their companies. Dave Goldberg, my former CEO, enabled me to achieve a dream of living and working overseas even though it conflicted with the overall goals of the company. I found out after he passed away that the company spent many times more than my annual salary to form and fund a foreign subsidiary, just to give me all benefits and equity accorded to every US employee. Dave Goldberg made my dream his dream and for that I am eternally grateful. I’ve started working on my next book, which is about kind leaders, people who put humanity before profit, and I hope the message will resonate.

8 of 9: How do you navigate the tension between your deepest values and the business world?

I’ve been fortunate to have spent most of my career in Silicon Valley, which, from my experience at least, lives up to its reputation of being a bastion of acceptance for all sorts of ideas and a true meritocracy. Every time I started a new job or joined a new team, I had a little bit of anxiety about sharing that I would need to leave early on Fridays in the winter or take off what seemed like an entire month in the fall.

Thankfully all of that worry was for naught, as I never once heard anything but acceptance. I certainly had some weird experiences like when I had a boss ask if there was a way I could respond to a particular request on Rosh Hashanah or if I could make an exception for a particularly important Friday meeting. I found that a firm response about this being nonnegotiable was all I really needed. I once had a new boss parrot back to me my leaving-early declaration in the way he heard it. He said “You are telling me that you need to get home because after dark you can’t touch a light switch because G-d told you so?” I responded with a yes. To which he said with a smile, “Okay, good luck with that stuff.”

9 of 9: If you were advising a young man/woman hoping to launch a career as an entrepreneur, which “dos” and “don’ts” would you share?

Strive to hear the word “no.” If you aren’t hearing the word “no” often, you aren’t reaching high enough. The only person that can hold back your ambition is yourself. Other people and events might get in your way, but it’s your job to figure out how to navigate those challenges, not let them become dead ends. I don’t have the educational pedigree that would justify the level of responsibility my public company clients give me, but when those opportunities come to me, it’s my responsibility to put forward the best pitch possible and not decline because I feel that I’m not deserving. When it comes to your career, your goals are only impossible if you believe that they are.

(Originally featured in Mishpacha, Issue 869)

The post Work/Life Solutions with Eli Schwartz first appeared on Mishpacha Magazine.