Though our lives sometimes feel long and hard, the stories of Bereishis teach us that our lives, like the lives of our forefathers, have purpose 

Whether or not you’re a great weaver of tales, you’re a storyteller.

We all take the events of our lives, pick out the experiences we feel impacted us, and turn them into a narrative. When you meet someone new, you’re likely to tell them a piece of your story to give them an inkling of who you are, just as you’ll ask them for their story.

Our stories aren’t just the facts of our lives; it’s how we weave those facts together into a narrative that says something about us. A young woman I know went on a date with a brilliant budding scholar. Prepping him for his first date ever, his mother told him to talk about himself. She probably meant that he should be open and let his date get to know him.

Understanding his mother’s words literally, he came on the date and started talking about himself. Starting with early memories of nursery school, he went through the events of each year of his schooling. Since he had a fabulous memory, after three hours, he was up to the events that occurred when he was in the eighth grade.

About five minutes before arriving back at her home, his date interrupted him and said, “Listen, your mother will probably want to know something about me. I grew up in Florida, I went away for high school to Bais Yaakov in Baltimore, I went to Bnos Chava sem, and now I’m studying to be an optometrist.”

Needless to say, this relationship didn’t go anywhere. For all the facts that were exchanged, they didn’t leave the date knowing much about each other. Stories reflect how we interpret what has occurred in our lives, and express the beliefs we have about our place in the world and how we presume future events will unfold.

Stories as Filters

Some people tell stories that start out bad but end up good. Positive psychologists call these redemptive stories. Then there are people who, no matter what wonderful event occurs in their lives, they view it negatively; something always happens that taints the good, so their story ends on a negative note. Those are termed contamination stories.

As life unfolds, what we make of each experience, and therefore how we respond, will be determined by our story line.

“She invited the whole neighborhood to her simchah, but not me. What else is new?” said Suri.

Read: I’m not a person people like or think of. No surprise there. Suri’s narrative is defeatist; life is beating her. The events of her life get filtered through that lens, thereby reinforcing her negative narrative.

But our narratives sometimes keep us from the truth. Maybe Suri’s invitation just got lost in the mail? We can get stuck in our own story without realizing; other interpretations of events that could lead us to greater self-awareness don’t even occur to us. This narrowness can cut us off from opportunities Hashem sends our way.